Advice for my pre baby self

So, i'm sure we are all in agreement that life completely flip turns upside down when you become a parent. You go from being just a person to being one half of a couple and then to being at the mercy of a tiny dictator with an obsession for milk and shouting at 3am. Absolutely nothing in the world can prepare you for the sheer pride and overwhelming love you feel as a parent...and also the tear inducing exhaustion and eye bags that never seem to go away no matter how much concealer is applied. I often try to remember what life was like before we had Dexter, but i literally can't even imagine it. It's as if he's always been with us and that's the way i'd like it to stay! I do, however, think that had i known then what i know now, i would have a few words of advice for my poor naive self!

• For the love of god, sleep like your life depends on it! Have as many lie in's as possible. Wear pyjamas all day. Don't set an alarm on your days off and enjoy waking up whenever you like. People told me when i was pregnant that i would pretty much never sleep again because even when they've started sleeping through the night, you are normally up worrying that they're not breathing properly. Then they go to school and you stay up worrying about wether they're making friends or doing well enough...then you worry that you're being a pushy parent by thinking these things. Then come the teenage years when you sit up with a strong coffee until your little darling finally staggers through the front door with a kebab in one hand at 3am. My Mom has told me on many occasions that no matter how old my sister or i get, we will always be her babies. Looks as if the worrying and sleeplessness goes way past the teenage years then doesn't it!? So, like i said, sleep like crazy...and throw in a few afternoon naps for good measure! God knows you will never have that luxury ever again!

• Enjoy your time as a couple. Go out for dinner and a movie, even just for a drink. Jump in the car and go on an adventure at a moments notice. Be spontaneous and loving towards each other . All spontaneity goes out of the window when you have a baby, as does all romance...unless you work at it of course! You will find yourself planning trips days in advance and packing a gigantic bag full of items which will prepare you for every eventuality imaginable. You will also find that as soon as you and your partner cuddle up together and put on a film, or even start to eat a meal, your baby will immediately wake up and demand that you see to them that second or else! A bit deflating for your love life! The important thing to remember is that you were a couple before you were parents and yes, you talked about things that were nothing to do with babies! (i know right, hard to imagine now isn't it?) Treat your partner as you did before you became Mommy and Daddy and always remember that your little angel was created out of the love you feel for one another. If you remember those things, you won't go far wrong!

• Go on holiday! They become military operations when you become a parent, and that feeling of freedom is so much stronger when you're not attempting to shove a travel cot and pushchair in the boot of the car! Of course, i'm not telling you to not take your children on holiday with you. I'm simply saying that there is so much less to think about when you're just packing for two of you. When two becomes three or more, it can become a lot more stressful. So make some lovely couple memories you can look back on and even tell your kids about when they're older!

• Save some money!! I can't stress this one enough, and wish i'd actually done it before we had Dexter! Let's face it ladies, maternity pay is not an amazing amount of money and babies are an expensive game. That then leaves your poor partner being the breadwinner and trying to keep everything ticking over as smoothly as possible while quietly going mad wondering which crazily expensive pram and car seat to buy. Not to mention how bloomin' cramped your car suddenly becomes when said car seat seems massive and appears to take up most of the back seat! So there you are, frantically browsing auto trader and wondering if you will ever be able to afford a car which is large enough to contain your family and all of the items that your little darling requires! We still do this now and i do wish we had given ourselves a bit of a head start when it comes to saving. Unfortunately, it's a bit like looking back at school. At the time, you can't wait to leave the place and go out into the real world and be an adult. When you actually are an adult, you crave a simpler time when you don't have to worry about boring things like budgeting and bills and realise that your school years were actually the best years of your life. Basically, you can't be told at the time but later wish you had listened to that little voice in the back of your head which told you to put something away for a rainy day. Damn you sensible voice!

• Cross some things off your bucket list. This is something i never did but should have done really. I haven't got a bucket list per se, just a load of things in my head that i would like to do someday. Most of them are visiting certain countries, but my biggest bucket list item was to become a mother. Big fat cross through that now,i think we can safely say! Basically, go out and do some things that you have always wanted to do. Skydive, Bungee Jump, Go Zorbing, Participate in a zombie apocalypse weekend...the list is endless. It's so much harder to do these things once you have a tighter budget and have to arrange a babysitter! 

• Never take for granted your ability to walk! I know it's a random one, but i remember how hard it was being stuck in a bed for ages after having my c-section. Going hand in hand with that point, never take for granted your ability to go to the toilet and have a shower unaided. Yeah, there's no air of mystery in your relationship once you have had a baby. Lee has seen some pretty awful sights, one of which being my insides handing out on the operating table while i was being stitched up. Thank God he is not squeamish! Lee is strong as hell and ,in turn, he keeps me strong. I can't stress enough how thankful i am for him. He held me up when i could barely move my legs, he helped me get dressed, fetched my food for me at hospital mealtimes, saw to Dexter when it took me a good five minutes to sit up comfortably, convinced me i'm a good Mom when i have felt low and held my hand during the scariest, and most magical time i have ever experienced. I am the luckiest girl alive :)

So there you have it! I know for a fact, as i always do, i will remember about a billion things i would have wanted to include but completely forgot at the time i was typing this! Life is a funny old journey, but one which helps you grow and adapt as a person. Nothing i have come across does this more than becoming a parent. I experienced a level of pain i didn't know existed and found strength i didn't know i had , all to bring our little boy into the world. I just can't wait to see what the future brings...

Until next time

Laura Xxx



P.S-Here are some photo's of Lee and i in our 'pre baby loved up early relationship' phase! As you can see, we look like we have both had the time to have a bath and i have even sorted my eyebrows! Also, no hair scraped up on top of my head in true mom style.

...but then there are these lovely moments we have shared as a little family over the last 6 wonderful, but tiring, months. These moments make you forget about your ego or vanity, or even how you used to spend 2 hours getting ready to go out.

The truth is yes, becoming a parent is a huge transition as an individual and as a couple. It's really not without it's challenges and should never be entered into without being completely sure you are ready for it. That being said, it's also the most amazing, rewarding and life affirming experience of your life! I type this as Dexter sits on my lap while doing a poo...but i still stand by it! You will never worry as much about another person in your life, but then you will never smile and laugh as much. Being a parent is amazing, and i just can't wait to see what the future hold for me and my little family.

XxX