How to be a thrifty Mummy!

So, as parents, we all need a little help in the money department from time to time. No matter how old your little darlings are, they're going to cost you money. How much, however, is entirely up to you! 

I remember before I had Dexter, people were always telling Lee and i how expensive children are. From the formula milk and keeping them in nappies to clothing them and paying for their toys and any classes they might take when they get a little older etc etc. Now, if you're a lady who is currently pregnant, or even a man who is soon to become a father, let me tell you that statistics about how much children cost are total rubbish if you make a few careful, sensible decisions! 

The following pieces of advice are a mixture of things i currently do, things i have been advised to do and things i know I should do but often forget to do! (We can't all be perfect, can we!)

One- Sign up to everything!!!

I can't stress enough how helpful this has been to us! From the moment you find out you are pregnant, companies seem to be falling all over you to try out their products and thrust money off vouchers in your clammy, slightly swollen hands. The most well known example of this is the well trusted bounty pack, which, if you're not familiar, is a great little bag of miniature goodies and vouchers, plus a handy magazine which gives some great advice for a bumbling first time Mum! (No prizes for guessing who I'm referring to! *rolls eyes and blushes*) Another very similar, but just as lovely, bag of goodies was the Emma's Diary pack. In the same way as Bounty, you can collect three packs which take you from early pregnancy to birth and then motherhood. They're like little friends who are there for you through all of the nasty pregancy related illness, fat ankles and calves, but they also offer you money off Lenor fabric softener! Cracking! Now, with Emma's Diary, when you sign up online you also gain access to a charming little website full of competitions, advice, and Emma's diary! Yes, there is someone called Emma who wrote a diary throughout her pregnancy, and it's awesome! I used to love reading her entry which corresponded with the stage of pregancy I was entering at the time. Sometimes, a little relateable information from another mum actually feels very comforting, even if it's from a mum you are never going to meet in person! Another great thing to do is sign up to mailing lists for every baby related brand you can think of! I'm talking Cow & Gate, Aptamil, Heinz, Huggies, Pampers, Johnsons, Ella's Kitchen, Hipp Organic, Farleys and SMA to name but a few! Becoming a parent is pure trial and error when it comes to choosing products you enjoy using with your baby. These companies are well aware of this, so they have a limited window to vie for your attention and make their products the ones that you choose! They do this by sending out money off vouchers, product brochures explaining the benefits of their products and free gifts...and you've got to be in it to win it! So get your name on as many parent related mailing lists as possible and watch the free samples roll in! 

This also applies to parenting clubs! Many supermarkets now run their own online parenting clubs and instore baby events, which are brilliant when it comes to finding a bargain! Let's not forget the infamous Boots parenting club which is by far my favourite, and the Mothercare parenting club who, although their intentions were good, gave me a book of vouchers when I was 14 weeks pregnant which expired within a month. Facepalm there, Mothercare! (I'm a poet and I didn't know it!)

Two-Points make prizes!

Collect points like your life depends on it!! Seriously, it's one of the easiest ways to save yourself a pretty penny when you have to tighten your maternity pay funded purse strings. Boots is my go to shop for points collection as it's a simple yet effective system which benefits both the business and consumer. If you aren't a proud owner of a boots advantage card, I would strongly recommend you sign up for one asap! You can do this online, or using the order forms next to the tills in your local boots store. Last year, just by buying my hair dye, makeup and gifts throughout the year for friends and family, i racked up enough points to purchase baby rice, plastic baby feeding set, a large bottle of calpol, a bottle of gripe water, a medicine dummy and a tube of bonjela teething gel and get the items delivered to my door, all without spending any extra money at all! Totally worth it!

Three-coupons are your friend! 

Don't be embarrassed to use coupons at every given opportunity! Coupons are amazing, and I don't just mean the baby variety. Most supermarkets issue their own magazine which promotes new products and they almost always include coupons for anything from margarine to frozen peas! Please don't buy for the sake of it though as, although having 50p off a bag of Brussels sprouts is all too appealing, it's all a waste of time if you normally heave at the sight of them. An item being cheaper does not make them suddenly taste wonderful, so bear that in mind! 

Another good place i found for coupons is the boots magazines/ catalogues. They issue a great one every so often which is aimed specifically at parents and the vouchers in the back are awesome! I have used coupons for anything from baby clothes to teethers which are easily picked up by anyone from any boots store for free! 

Four-Ebay,Ebay,Ebay!!

This may be the most controversial point in this post, but I wrote this blog to be honest and that's exactly what I'll do! Now some people believe that when you have a baby, every single item of their clothing should be bought brand new as it's just more hygienic. I, however, beg to differ! You see, if you have a baby, or have little cousins/ nieces/ nephews /brothers or sisters, you'll know how quickly babies grow out of clothes. Let's put it this way. A mom goes out to Next, who sell beautiful clothes by the way, and spends £10 on a nice top for her baby to wear for a special occasion. The baby wears the top on that one occasion, everyone coos over baby and says how wonderful he looks and mommy gushes with pride. However, the next time mom goes to put that same top on baby, it's a bit too snug. Now, after a lovely wash and a nice bit of fabric softener later, the top is like new and listed on ebay for a fraction of the price. I'm not at all ashamed to say that a large percentage of Dexters clothes are bought off Ebay as either new with tags or have been worn a handful of times before by another baby. I love the fact that I can pick up beautiful like new Ted Baker shirts, Converse tracksuits and No Added Sugar t-shirts, all for a very small fraction of what they would have cost in the shops. It's a win win for me as Dexter looks super cute and Lee and I have more money in our pockets to take Dexter out to nice places and make lovely memories with him, which is always more important. It's no use being the best dressed kid in the world who has to sit in the house because your parents have spent all of their money on clothes! Yes, of course Dexter has a lot of brand spanking new clothes too, but it really does pay to get lovely quality clothes for a much cheaper price.

Above are perfect examples of Ebay purchases, being modelled by the gorgeous Dexter of course! The top two pictures show a Kasabian t-shirt which was originally sold by Next, but was purchased on Ebay for a much cheaper price...and honestly, there is so difference in quality whatsoever! 

The bottom picture is Dexter sporting a rather lovely Firetrap sleepsuit, which was new with tags but purchased on Ebay for a much cheaper price than Firetrap were charging! 

Five- Shop around!

This applies to everything, whether it be for groceries, clothes, shoes and even gifts. Take advantage of  home delivery shopping deals in supermarkets. For example, sainsburys are currently giving out leaflets in their stores which give you £10 off your first five online grocery shops- that's £50 you've saved which goes such a long way for any family, let alone if you've recently gained another mouth to feed! I know it can be so easy to stick to one supermarket and never visit any others, but offers like this really are too good to pass up, and you may be pleasantly surprised by some of the new products you try! Online shopping really is the easiest way to compare prices on all sorts of items. If you are looking for a specific item, such as a certain toy for example, type the toys name on google and it'll bring up various stockists and the prices they charge. Before now I have saved at least £10 on several occasions throughout the years when I have been buying gifts for people, which has enabled me to buy them a little something extra...or something for myself! (Not gonna lie to you!!) 

Also, don't be a snob when it comes to discount stores. Places like poundland will pleasantly surprise you, even when shopping for a gift bag for a present or even a few little novelty items. Primark is and always will be amazing when it comes to kitting out yourself, your home, your children and also buying gifts for others. Don't presume that because it's cheaper, they have no brands available to buy. Lee and I took Dexter to primark a few days ago and as well as picking up a few items of clothing, I bought myself a gorgeous Paul Frank vanity case which is stunning and worth way more than it's £5 price tag! There is literally something for everyone in there and I can't recommend it highly enough. 

Six-Hit the sales!

Sales happen all year round , not just around Christmas time, and you can find some amazing bargains! My favourite sales are the next sales. I'm really not one of the camping outside at 3am crew, but i do like to shop the next sale online and pick up some gorgeous clothes for Dexter in the process. The thing is, you don't even have to buy things in your child's current size. Planning ahead and buying items which are maybe two sizes two big now will help you in the long run while they're growing so quickly. I have picked up some lovely items which are 12 months+, but will be suitable for him when he's grown a little. There's nothing like being prepared!! 

So as you can see, there are so many ways to save a little money here and there and they all make life so much easier in the long run! You can save up for amazing things like holidays, or use the extra cash at the end of each month to treat yourself and your partner to a nice date night or some new clothes etc... 

If you have any handy tips for saving a little bit of money here and there, I would love to hear them! I always enjoy listening to new ideas and points of view! Also, I would love to hear if you found any of these tips in any way helpful, it would make my year (yes, YEAR) if any of you actually saved yourselves a little dosh by taking on board anything that I have written :)

Until next time, 

Laura Xx

Dexters' weaning journey with Ella's Kitchen!

Okay, so Dexter has got to that stage in life where milk just isn't good enough and he finds dribbling to the point that he is practically bathing in his own saliva a fun hobby. Yes, Dexter has reached the ripe old age of 13 weeks old! As I write this, it is late on a Saturday evening and Dexter will be turning 14 weeks on Tuesday. Now, as i already mentioned weaning at the beginning of this post, I'm almost certain I can hear the judgemental tut of the mothers who stick religiously to the advice of the government. Babies apparently are not to be weaned before 6 months of age or, if you're absolutely desperate, 17 weeks old. Hmmm. Ok then. I remember reading this advice many times before deciding to start weaning Dexter and imagined the conversation Dexter and I would have about it if he could talk. I think it would go a little something like this...

Dexter: "Mommy, my tummy hurts and my milk isn't filling me up properly anymore"

Me: "I'm really sorry Dexter, but the government advise that you don't have anything but milk until you're at least 17 weeks old"

Dexter: "I can't wait another 4 weeks until I have a full tummy again! I'm hungry now!"

Me: "I know Dexter, but apparently the government know more about babies than their own mothers, so despite the fact that you are showing all of the signs of being ready for weaning, you'll have to wait. Afterall, I would hate to be judged by another mother or health professional who does not know you well enough to determine what you want and need"

You probably sense a hint of sarcasm. You are probably right! As all of us mothers know, we are the best decision makers when it comes to our babies. No one knows your baby like you do, so please don't feel pushed into a decision by anyone on the basis of guidelines. Every baby is different, so how can anyone possibly generalise when it comes to your baby being ready to experience anything? Maybe you are a mother umming and ahhing about wether to begin weaning your baby? If so, I'll tell you how Lee and i determined that Dexter was ready to start the long and arduous weaning journey!

It all started when Dexter began sucking his hands. Now, when I say sucking his hands, I don't mean occasionally. I mean, his fists were rammed so far into his mouth, we were beginning to wonder if he was trying to show us a party trick he was working on! Dribbling had also become excessive. Dexter is now having to wear a bib all the time as he can soak through a t-shirt and vest in a couple of minutes. Another reason is his fascination with whatever it is that you're eating. It doesn't matter what it is, or what time of day it is, Dexter is either leaning over your plate salivating or staring at your from across the room with eyes like saucers. It started off being ridiculously cute, but when he started babbling at your dinner like something possessed, we figured it was something to do with Dexter feeling that he was missing out on proper food and a variety of new and exciting tastes and flavours. The biggest clue, however, was the fact that he was polishing off 9 ounce bottles within 5 minutes, then crying for more. This is something he's never done before, as 9 ounces would normally guarantee at least a nap afterwards, if not a very long sleep. So parent power won again and Lee and i found ourselves entering into a new world of baby spoons and puréed foods!

Weaning can be as much of an adventure to parents as it is to their baby. Watching Dexter grow and develop before our very eyes is the most wonderful thing Lee and I have ever experienced, but it's not without its challenges. I was confident that Dexter would take to food like a duck to water, on the basis that his obsession with everyone else's food bordered on the psychotic. You can imagine my surprise when his facial expression suggested i had given him poison laced with urine. Yes, his face was that bad! 

When deciding what baby food to feed him, there were a few items on our metaphorical checklist that we felt needed to be covered. Taste was obviously important, althought this would be the hardest item for us to investigate. In other words, we really didn't fancy sampling a load of baby food to determine which was the tastiest! We also felt it important that the food was as natural as possible. We were basically ruling out anything with added E numbers or chemicals which were not needed, so possibly an organic food would be beneficial. We also wanted something which would be easy to store and also take out and about with us for when Dexter is hungry on the go. 

After careful consideration, we settled on Ella's Kitchen as the brand of food we were happiest with. Now, I am in no way trying to suggest that other baby foods aren't as good for your baby. Infact, there are many other organic baby foods which ticked many of our boxes. Ella's Kitchen, however, just stood out to us. The fact that their food is 100% organic and made without anything other than essential ingredients appealed to us greatly. Also, although you shouldn't judge a book by its cover, their packaging has a fun, bright, young feel to it which i absolutely love! Their food comes in handy pouches, which makes feeding your baby so easy and as mess and waste free as possible. We currently feed Dexter by taking a pouch and squeezing the contents directly onto a baby spoon, rather than emptying the entire contents into a baby bowl. That way, we ensure that the food can be re sealed and stored in a fridge for up to 48 hours, which is so handy when you're at the beginning of your weaning journey and your baby does not eat an awful lot in one sitting. Dexter will only currently have about 6 spoonfuls of food in the middle of his bottle feed, some of which he attempts to spit out or waggles at you on the end of his tongue. An attractive sight, I can tell you! 

Selecting flavours is pretty much a trial and error kind of game. I would advise buying 3 or 4 different pouches to begin with, rather than buying any 2 the same. Your baby's reaction will speak volumes about what your baby thinks of the food in their mouth...just don't presume you'll get a positive one from the outset! You must remember that this is a massive step for your baby, who has gone from living on one taste, flavour and texture to suddenly sampling different combinations of fruit and vegetable purées and baby rice. It's like an adult only ever trying chewing gum and then sampling a starburst. It would blow your mind! Also, if your baby spits a bit out with each mouthful, this is normal and not necessarily an indication that he or she doesn't like their food. Your baby is also having to get used to a spoon, which is completely foreign to them. Also, the consistency of the food is thicker than what they are used to, so learning to break down the food in their mouth, then swallow the food is also a big learning curve and one that will take time and a lot of perseverance. Dexter is starting to make less mess on his bib when he eats now, which i see as a sign that he's beginning to grasp how to swallow the food correctly, rather than spitting it out onto his chin like a big gooey mess! 

Dexter has only sampled three different flavours of food in the Ella's Kitchen range. They are, strawberry and apple, pears, apples and baby rice and bananas, apples and baby rice, all of which he has enjoyed thoroughly! I must admit, he was most hesitant with the strawberry and apple pouch, although I couldn't imagine why as it smelt amazing, like a lovely non sugary jam! After a bit of perseverance however, he totally finished the pouch within a couple of days. Every last drop of it! 

I think our next step is to try him with some savoury flavours to see how he bears up. As I write this, there is a simply carrots pouch in the cupboard with his name on it, so maybe that will be our next new flavour for him to deliberate over! I personally couldn't be happier with the range available and think it's so important that early tastes are as varied and flavoursome as possible. Ellas's kitchen have nailed it!

So after reading this, do you think that your baby may be on the verge of weaning? If you fancy giving Ella's Kitchen products a go, they're available in all major supermarkets. The pouches are currently on offer in sainsburys as part of a limited time only baby event and, if you are a regular asda shopper, pop in to your local stores cafe! A pouch of Ella's Kitchen baby food is available for free to anyone who spends over £1 in any asda customer cafe, so don't hesitate to pop in for a nice cappuccino after a long slog around the supermarket! Joining the Ella's Kitchen mailing list is great too as you automatically gain access to a great little online weaning guide which contains helpful tips and advice to make your babies weaning experience a happy one. They also send you money off vouchers through the post, another great reason to give them a go! So what are you waiting for? All you need to do is check the label and look out for the stage one logo on the pouch and ensure the age is 4 months. The smoother the food the better! 

I hope this post has at least been of some help to you. I can only write about my experience as a parent, and am in no way a dietician, peadiatrician, midwife or health visitor. I do however think that sometimes a little parent to parent advice is indispensable :) 

Until next time! Much love,

Laura Xx

What your midwife never told you about C-sections

Hello again! So it's taken me a little bit of time to settle into life as a new mummy before I could talk about this particular topic. My C-section was unexpected and unplanned, but went ahead purely for the safety of myself and Dexter. It was probably because of this that I felt so unprepared and misinformed about what exactly was going on, how i would feel afterwards and what a frightening experience it can be when you're so unsure.

So here are your myths dispelled and your facts put straight!

• When I am given an induction date, I'll have the baby on that day.

Totally wrong! I haven't actually come across any woman who has been given an induction date, gone into hospital and had her baby all in one day! I actually thought this would be exactly what would happen! I had been told to call the hospital on the day i was due to go in for my induction to find out what time to go in. When I called at 9am as instructed, I was expecting them to tell me to make my way in immediately! They actually told me 2pm, so I managed to have a Sunday dinner then Lee and i made our way into hospital. When we got to hospital, i then thought they'd break my waters, I'd have my baby and be out within a couple of days. This was also wrong. Basically, day one i had a pessary inserted which was used to ripen my cervix. Day two was removing the pessary and checking how dilated i was, then breaking my waters and taking Lee and i to the delivery suite where I had my epidural and gas and air. Day three was actually having the baby! So as you can probably guess, I was more than ready to meet him after all of the waiting around!

• C-sections are completely painless.

They are and they aren't! During the procedure itself, you can't feel a thing.Only a bit of tugging, but it's not painful. If anything, it just feels really bizarre! It's the recovery process which is painful.

• What happens in the operating theatre?

It was all a bit of a blur as I was quite drugged up and sleep deprived by this point! I do remember them saying i needed a c-section, but this may have been influenced by the fact that I refused to push any longer as my pain relief was no longer effective and I had been pushing for 3 hours with absolutely no progress! So basically, they took me down to theatre in my bed and Lee walked by the side of me. When we got down there, they whisked Lee off so he could gown up while I was given a spinal (a strong anaesthetic in your back), had a cannula fitted (drip feed in the back of my hand) and various other methods of preparation. I remember the theatre team being really lovely, but i just kept asking if Lee could come in yet! Once your birth partner is allowed in the room, they begin the procedure. The very first thing they do before making any sort of incision is lift your gown up and clip it to a frame. This basically acts as a screen so that you can't see your guts hanging out ( i never said this would be pretty!) As they begin making incisions and start tugging your tummy around, you begin to shake. Well, I did anyway! Apparently, it's a normal reaction to the anaesthetic you've received, but it still feels really strange when your teeth are chattering as if you're skinny dipping in a snowstorm! 

Do you hear your baby straight away?

Not always, but don't panic! Think about how stressful a c section is on the mothers body. It's just as stressful and shocking to the baby! When Dexter was born, I felt a big tug and all of a sudden, this tiny goo covered creature appeared over the top of the screen! He wasn't crying, he just looked really shocked. I mean, if you were asleep in your very own cozy bubble, then someone snatched you away from it all of a sudden, you would probably be speechless for a few seconds too! After Lee cut his cord, the theatre staff wrapped Dexter up in a blanket and brought him over to us to hold while the consultant was stitching me up.

How long does it take to recover?

All in all, a few weeks. Your hospital recovery, however, depends on how many c sections you have had before and obviously how well you are doing in general. The theatre team tend to fit a catheter so that you don't have to get up and go to the loo, as it's pretty much impossible to move for the first 24 hours. The midwives regularly monitor the colour of your urine to make sure you're drinking enough  water. They also check your c section wound to ensure everything is healing as it should and there are no tears or infections. Taking a lot of medicine is also order of the day, so expect a lot of injections and tiny tablets appearing! After 2 days, they removed my catheter and got me up and walking. I was a bit like Bambi for a little while, and you find that you're scared to do certain things as you do feel like you're going to burst open! Coughing and sneezing were the worst, but laughing was also painful. Lee was in comedic mode trying to make me laugh to cheer me up , as I wasn't over the moon with staying in hospital, so I found myself belly laughing on several occasions! I found holding my tummy helped :)

Any tips on essentials to pack?

The top tip i have is humongous knickers! You really can't go wrong! I do think that applies to all pregnant ladies who are packing their hospital bags, as you just don't know if you'll be whisked off to theatre unexpectedly. I ordered mine online from Marks and Spencer's and, after sifting through a few frilly and floral numbers, i found a 5 pack of big black knickers which Simon Cowell himself would be proud of! I say this because the higher up on your waist they go, the better! Also, don't be frightened of ordering a bigger size as it's all about comfort and no one, including you, will give two hoots about your Bridget jones undies! I would also advise packing nighties, dry shampoo, LOTS of maternity pads (mine were boots own brand and were super), some slippers or thick fluffy socks for when you get up and about and bobbles because you never get time to do your hair and I ended up looking like Diana Ross at one point! Obviously, on top of that, you need your toiletries and comfortable changes of clothes. Boots have a helpful list of hospital bag essentials on their website and, if you join the cow and gate mailing list, they send a lovely cuddly cow for your baby and a little book which includes a list you can follow and tick off. Personally, I watched Anna Saccone hospital bag videos on youtube to help me with anything i didn't think I would need or had forgotten as they were really helpful! 

So basically, after a few weeks of being unable to sit up in bed and having aches and pains, I was right as rain again! I can't say I'll be running any marathons any time soon, but all I have now are occasional twinges in my back from the epidural i had and a practically invisible scar on my bikini line which you can actually only see if it's pointed out (not that i go around flashing my scar at people or anything)! Oh, i do have a little wobbly pouch for a tummy though, but that will go away in time. My stomach was so massive and my skin so stretched, I would have been very surprised if i didn't have a little jelly belly! So yes, your body changes drastically when you have a baby, no matter what your method of delivery. But it's much easier to cope with when you have a beautiful little person to distract you and keep you busy! My body will improve in time, but my priority right now is being a great fiancée and mother....

(I'm getting there, day by day!)

Much love, Laura Xxxx

Ps. Here is a picture Dexter drew on the cbeebies app to brighten your day! Another reason why they're all worth it! :)

...in which I have the willpower of a dead badger

Yes, this is one of those moany, mopey, 'woe is me' blog posts which are written to make you feel immensely sorry for me and how utterly awful i feel about myself at this current moment in time. It's a definite on/off feeling but one that,when it takes hold, is a soul destroying, gut wrenching kind of feeling. You are that little child in a cartoon who's dropped their ice cream and the ice cream van has driven away so there's not a chance of another. 

Luckily, it's not a feeling i have often. Probably once a week to a couple of weeks. It can be triggered by anything, but today the trigger has been my reflection.

Silly, right? I look to the left of me and see a beautiful, innocent baby sleeping in his cot. A baby i endured immense pain for. A baby who is, in himself, is a symbol of my inner strength. But I get beaten by something as simple as my reflection!

Now, before I was a mummy, I was a bit vain. It all started when I was a little girl. My Mom told me that I was so in love with my own reflection, i used to stare in shop windows at it whenever we went out! This continued for a long long time. But as I got older, I got chubbier and the chubbier i got, the more i got picked on. So I started to see my reflection as kind of a status symbol. If my reflection was slim with perfect skin and not a hair out of place, I was a good person. Maybe even a likeable person. Someone people wanted to be friends with. If, however, my reflection was looking plump with a few spots and blackheads and there was a piece of hair with a kink in it that I couldn't straighten out no matter how hard i tried, I was a very negative person. Someone who had their head down all day and who didn't want people to look at them for fear that they would notice what an undesirable person I was and laugh at me or leave me on my own. 

Sadly, this has continued into my adult years. And today, even though I have a beautiful son and a gorgeous fiancé, i find myself being my own worst critic. I stared into the mirror today, and i just wanted to cry. My size 12 body has been replaced with a size 14-16 one, my hair is in desperate need of dye, I have dry skin on my nose (which i find myself obsessing over), my clothes are tired and worn and, to be honest, i just feel ugly.

What worries me more than anything though is that my fiancé will find someone who is much prettier and I'll just be the ex who he picks our son up from to take to the park with his glamorous new girlfriend. I then imagine what that girlfriend would look like. Perfect blonde hair and deep blue eyes...and not forgetting the size 8 figure to boot. And there's me. Old frumpy pants. Waving my son off, while holding back tears, wishing i was her. The thought of Lee being with someone else then makes tears prickle in my eyes because, although I may not be a model, no one will ever love him like i do. And he will never truly understand how deeply i love him with all of my heart and soul. 

And all of these thoughts and feelings are stirred from looking in a mirror! So I have decided that enough is enough. I can only change my reflection with hard work but,wherever I am on my journey to my perfect reflection, the person staring back at me is a good, honest, kind generous, loving , caring and strong fiancee and mother who does not need to give in to those feelings! 

Dr Seuss had the right idea-
'Be who you are and say what you feel because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind'!
And that just about sums it up! So all those Mummies who are, like me, looking at their post pregnancy body and thinking long winded irrational thoughts, you're not alone! And if you're maybe not a mommy, but have a friend who is feeling down and looking at themselves in a negative way, give them a huge hug and remind them of all the good, positive things they bring to the world! If we all did that, maybe there would be a few less, to quote Ned Flanders, 'negative nellies' in the world and new mommies would feel a little less isolated and self conscious! It's a tough old journey, Life, but we can make it a much smoother, happier one for each other!
Much love, Laura Xxx

My world x

Let's talk about mummyhood...

Hello again! Sorry it's been about a week since my last post. We've had a few stumbling blocks in life as we all do from time to time and it's made blogging extremely difficult. :( 

Maybe I'll write about them someday, maybe I won't. But just know that myself, Lee and Dexter are all absolutely fine.
Anyhoo, I wanted to talk to you all about a video i watched the other day, which I'm almost certain a lot of you (if not all of you) will have seen. It's called 'The Mother 'Hood official video' and it was made by an American formula milk company called similac. 
http://youtu.be/Me9yrREXOj4

(The link's there for you above incase you haven't laid your peepers on it yet!)
Basically, the video deals with many different methods of parenting and our attitudes as parents towards those who choose a different path to ourselves. You have groups such as stay at home dads, breast feeding moms, bottle feeding moms,working moms and same sex couples with children to name a few. What's sad is, none of these groups have anything positive and supportive to say to another group who are doing things differently to themselves. What's even sadder is that it's so true to life.
Us mothers, and sometimes fathers alike, can be such a load of judgy mcjudgersons, picking apart the parenting methods of anyone with children that we see. I'm ashamed to say, I have been one of those judgemental parents! You see, when I was pregnant, I thought I knew it all! I'd read baby books and my sister has three children so being an auntie has definitely helped prepare me for what to expect when my baby actually arrived. I was all 'breast is best' and the classic 'sleep when the baby sleeps'. Then the baby arrived...oh how my opinion's changed! As I have explained in a previous post, I wasn't producing enough milk to satisfy Dexter. I soon jumped at the chance to buy formula then! Also, this whole 'sleep when the baby sleeps' is actually a lot harder than it sounds. I mean, when exactly are you supposed to catch up on the washing/ have any form of life?
Being judgemental is actually a really awful thing for me to admit to, as I am always the one telling people 'different strokes for different folks' and, if you want me to go all religious on your ass 'judge not lest ye be judged'. I did find myself, however, looking a lot more at what other parents did. Thinking about it now, it was probably a way of people watching to gain parenting wisdom!
Now when I say I was judgemental when I was pregnant, it's a slight fib. I mean, we all have a little tut now and then at the occasional person, and anyone who says they don't is either a bloomin' saint or has a serious case of Pinocchio syndrome! I will always eye roll at people who yell at their kids. I've never agreed with it, nor will i ever agree with it. Yes, we all know kids can be challenging, but if you want your kids to respect you and do as you ask, show a little self control yourself and try speaking to them and not the entire queue at the checkout at the supermarket. Enough said about that one!
Smoking is also a bugbear of mine. Neither my partner or i are smokers, but what others do is up to them. It's when they're pushing their baby around while blowing smoke in their face that I don't agree with. Lee and i recently took Dexter for his first obligatory Ikea outing (exciting i know)! As we were leaving the store, a woman was pushing her little boy in a trolley who couldn't have been more than 3 years old. She smelt like and ashtray and all the time she was talking to him, she was smoking and breathing all of the fumes in his face. That little boy could not decide for himself wether he would breathe in smoke that day, or any day for that matter. That is exactly what i do not agree with.
Other things in my short list are; parents who put fizzy drinks in baby bottles, giving kids crisps and/or chocolate for breakfast and parents who only ever talk about their children in a negative light eg. 'He's a right pain in the arse' (yes, I have actually heard a woman describe her little boy with these words in front of him, talk about a confidence boost)! 
Now you might wonder why I have listed pretty much all of the things which irritate me most about parenting? Well, all of the above things are negatives. Things which, to be honest, most good parents disagree with or cringe at. In the video I'm referring to, all of the subjects under scrutiny are parenting methods born out of love for their children and purely from wanting the very best for them! 
The point I'm trying to make is, you might be obsessed with breast feeding, but next time you see a mummy whip a bottle of formula milk out of her bag in a restaurant, don't presume she can't be bothered to breast feed. Or when you see a stay at home mummy walking her toddler to play group while you're on your way to work, don't presume she does nothing all day and is lazy. Or when you see Daddy on his own out and about with his baby, don't presume that Mummy couldn't wait to go back to work and is the least maternal person in the world. The world is full of presumptions, but not many people actually take the time to get to know a persons story before they jump to a conclusion. What amazes me about the video is that, after all of the hen pecking about whose parenting method is best, they all come together to save the baby who is rolling down the hill in her pram. And that's the essence of it, one word, Love. It all comes from the overwhelming, powerful love we all feel for our children. And that's what it's all about. 
The sooner we come together and support each other as parents, the better. We've all got such an important job to do, but we can do it. Together.
Until next time, love Laura Xxx