Can a bracelet improve your life? (In association with www.prairiecharms.co.uk)

Myself, and many other bloggers, were very recently approached by a lovely company called prairie charms who offer lovely,distinct jewellery pieces and accessories on their website. 

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The company itself is kindly working in association with make a wish foundation which is a charity very close to my heart. As a mother, i often look at Dexter and thank my lucky stars that I haven't had to, and hopefully will never have to, enlist the help of charities such as this as my child is not seriously ill. I do, however, think they do such a good job for children, and the families of children, with serious illnesses so I was excited to be a part of their latest blogger based project. I cannot urge you enough to take a look at their lovely pieces available online and, if you see something that catches your eye, treat yourself! Their accessories are beautiful, affordable and 25% of your purchase price goes directly to make a wish.

When Prairie Charms asked me to choose an item from their range, i really wasn't sure what to go for. Not just because they have such a large selection of pretties, but also because I haven't really bought any accessories since I became pregnant with Dexter, maybe even before that! Since I knew I was going to have a baby especially, I was so busy buying things for him and preparing myself for the massive change that was about to happen in my life, that I didn't really think of buying anything nice for myself! Sad really isn't it? I painstakingly looked through their items, deliberated over three or four short listed things and finally decided to purchase their 'Frances Beaded Wire Bracelet', which is even more lovely in person as it looked online. It's comprised of a slightly rugged, deep purple plaited fabric, accented by a dainty gold key and gold hardware fastening it all together. I just think it's so pretty!

It arrived with two other lovely items which had been specially selected for me by the Prairie Charms team. A cute set of two hair ties, perfect for those days when your baby has pretty much scalped you after pulling on your hair so hard and you just want to scrape it all up into a bun out of the way (let's admit it, we've all been there!) and a cute ditsy floral print bracelet...or anklet (are they still a thing? I'm so out of touch!). 

Having some cute accessories in my life made me think about how a little accessory such as this can make you feel as an individual. Yes, so they can really set off an outfit or compliment your shoes, but what do they really MEAN to a persons confidence or wellbeing. I looked over at Dexter, who was having a nap, and saw his tiny little Amber Bead bracelet poking out from under his sleeve. Now, unless you haven't come across Amber beads before, they are bought by parents to aid their child in the teething process as Amber is thought to have healing properties. So such a little item can provide such an important level of pain relief to my son.

It then lead me to think about other forms of jewellery which aided peoples lives on a daily basis such as medic alert bracelets which inform others of a persons medical conditions incase of emergency and copper bracelets which alleviate the symptoms of Arthritis. I looked down at my own bracelet and thought about how good it made me feel to be wearing something little for myself which made me feel a little bit special. You see, what they don't actually inform you before you become a mom, but that you very quickly work out yourself, is that you now come last. What I mean is, if your baby needs something, their needs always go before your own. It can be challenging for some mothers as it can be quite a stark contrast from the life they led before. You can quite often start feeling as though you've lost a little bit of whatever it is that makes you, well, you! This feeling can either be replaced by acceptance, or it can quickly spiral to more negative feelings relating to a lack of self esteem and even feelings of sadness that you may be missing your life as it was. This can soon spiral to depression, which is why it's so important for moms to have that time to be human again and not just a mom. 

I have a confession to make. I was actually feeling like this a couple of months ago. I wasn't so much feeling like i was missing my life before we had Dexter,it was more that I was feeling fat and frumpy, felt lonely a lot, had lost all confidence resulting in me shutting myself away inside the house (which also prevented me meeting new people, hence the loneliness), didn't feel worthy of being a mother and generally speaking, just didn't feel at all like my happy old self! It was hard to get myself out of the metaphorical black hole I had been comfortably cocooning myself in for some time but, with the help of my wonderful Fiancé, I am feeling much better these days. Receiving this bracelet though really gave me the boost i needed. I know a real 'crisis' is normally attributed to physical pain, but a crisis is different to different people. I really thought I was having a personal crisis, like an inner conflict. Part of me just didn't feel right, like I'd completely lost my identity and another part of me felt guilty for feeling this way as I had just had a beautiful baby. 

Luckily, I have since felt a lot better and have settled into being a Mom now. Infact, i really can't imagine not being a mom or having Dexter! I do, however, still sometimes crave something little to make me feel a bit more like Laura and this lovely parcel from prairie charms did just that! Like i mentioned earlier, there are lots of different accessories which can help people in a medical sense, but this particular bracelet helped me in just the way i needed. It helped me feel a bit more like me :) 

So next time you see a mom struggling with shopping and a toddler or doing the school run, think about how selfless moms really have to be. Sometimes all a mom needs is something to make her feel a little special again!

Until next time,

Laura Xxx

Ps.Remember to check out www.prairirecharms.co.uk for a little something to make you feel special too! :)

Our (not so wonderful) week!

So I don't often do posts like this. Infact, I've never done one of these posts, simply because I find it difficult to be that 'post on the same day every week' kind of girl! But I thought I would share with you a little window into our world. Maybe it'll become a regular thing and I'll change my blogging commitment phobe ways...who knows?! 

Sunday- Sunday was a huge day for Lee and i, probably for slightly different reasons! It was 22nd of March and we were off to wembley stadium to watch Lee's team, Walsall FC, play against Bristol City for the chance to win the johnstones paint trophy. Don't get me wrong, I was excited and all, but that day would also be the first whole day I had been away from Dexter so I was a little distracted! Lee's mom was in charge for the day and Lee's sister, Michelle, and nephew, Alex, would be popping round for a few hours so that the boys could play and they could all go for a nice walk. I'll admit, I was an emotional wreck. I am almost certain that if we were not on a mini bus surrounded by people, I would have shed more than a few tears on that journey down to London. Despite all of the organisation required for such a tiny person, the severe lack of sleep the night before (Dexter started teething properly and was awake nearly all night) and Walsalls untimely demise at the hands of Bristol City (the match ended in a 2-0 defeat) it was a really good day! Plus, I could finally say that I had bit the bullet and left the baby in someone else's capable hands for a few hours! It was a personal victory being away from him for a little bit, but I couldn't wait to get back and see that cheeky smile of his! 

On the way back through London, I received a tweet from a lovely company called prairie charms (catch them on www.prairiecharms.co.uk), who wanted me to write a blog post based in some way around an accessory from their website. I was sent a much more thorough brief than just described, but that was the gist of it! It was a race against time for me to get back to them as they wanted a response before 10pm that night and i only had 20% battery life on my phone and was in a minibus in London stuck in football traffic! Luckily, I managed to respond and have since received my lovely items, which I will be writing about this evening and tomorrow. We finally got home after picking Dexter up at about 11pm, so we crawled into bed with a macdonalds (naughty!) and went to sleep after a long and exhausting day!

Monday- To be honest, Monday was a day of recuperation after the crazy day we had on Sunday. I had a driving lesson at about 10.30am, then we just lay in bed and caught up on some tv we had recorded on the sky box. Nothing monumental happened, but sometimes the days we just lay in bed and snuggle with our baby are the best days :)

Tuesday- Quite literally did nothing again! I'm pretty sure we were knackered because Dexter was up again with his toothy pegs through the night, so it was a day of naps and cuppas in bed with a bit of judge Rinder thrown in! We're an exciting bunch aren't we?! 

Wednesday- Wednesday Lee was at work, so Dexter and I had the morning to ourselves until Daddy got home! Dex went crazy on a pouch of parsnips, parsnips, parsnips by Ella's Kitchen, while I managed to finish and upload another blog post. We had an electrician friend of Lee's coming round to fit a plug socket in the hallway and, once he'd gone home, we decided to order a takeaway and relax. I had a really bad pain in my tummy, but put it down to the fact that I had been so busy with Dexter that i hadn't managed to eat anything all day. Lee made me some toast while I sat with Dexter, but the pain only got worse. By the time our food had arrived, I was in agony. I convinced myself that it was just hunger and managed to eat a few slices of pizza, before feeling really gross. Lee was starting to get a funny stomach as well at this point...then the throwing up started. To say the next few days were grim is a serious understatement. We were both so so ill and spent the next few days in bed feeling horrendous. Not exactly a fun end to the week! Lee had to have time off work and we had to enlist the help of my mom to babysit Dexter while we rested. To avoid having to describe the following few days of illness, I will skip along to...

Saturday- Saturday was the day we had tickets to see Mcbusted at the Barclaycard arena in Birmingham. We had woken up feeling a lot better than before, but still pretty fragile. It was hit or miss whether we would actually make the trip there or do what we felt like doing and curling into a ball in bed all evening! Luckily, we managed to get ready and felt just well enough to go. We had horrible rumbling stomachs while we were there, which concerned us a little. We were beginning to think we were about to experience sickness round 2! Luckily though, we were alright and had a great night! Mcbusted were awesome as always and we went home with very rumbly tummies, but smiles on our faces nevertheless! Dexter slept through the night too which was a bonus, so we actually got an unexpected amount of sleep too :)

So, that was our week! I hope you enjoyed reading about our exploits in that wacky world we call parenting! I hope you all had good weeks too, I'll be back very shortly with my Prairie Charms blog post, so keep 'em peeled! 

Laura Xxx

A letter to my son...

Dexter, you may be only 4 months old with no teeth and a penchant for yelling in baby language at 4am, but one day you will be a man. It's really hard for me to imagine what you'll look like, what your interests will be, where you'll work (premier league footballer playing for arsenal of course!) and what your first girlfriend...or even boyfriend will be like! There are so many questions regarding the future when it comes to babies. I often gaze at you and wonder what kind of a person you'll be. To be honest, my main aim for you is that you live a long, happy and healthy life. There are, however, certain things i want you to know.

1. If everyone was the same, the world would be a very boring place. This is coming from your mother who, when she was a teenager, was considered a 'goth' or 'greebo'. I never really cared for being pigeonholed according to what clothes i was wearing or what bands were on my MP3 player. I just never really found it relevant. I judged people by their actions and how they behaved, regardless of what they looked like. I would like you to do the same. If you really think about it, your Dad and I would probably never have got together had we been at high school together and acted like the other kids. Your Dad was sporty whereas I was picked last for everything when it came to PE. Your Dad was tall, dark and handsome and I was pale, short and sickly. Your Dad wore clothes made by Fred perry, Henleys and Mckenzie when I would wear Famous Stars and Straps, Converse and Iron Fist. Despite all this, however, there comes a time when you grow up and none of that silly stuff matters anymore. Your Dad and I have a deep connection and he is my best friend and soulmate, no clothing label or outside opinion could ever change that. Basically, embrace others differences. They're not a reason for ridicule. 

2. Be respectful to girls...or boys. Now I don't know whether you'll be gay or straight, but i first of all want to tell you that your Dad and I don't care as long as you're happy. We will always support you! But whatever gender of partner you end up with, I want you to be respectful to them and also to yourself. Please don't ever think it's acceptable to be the boxer OR punching bag in any relationship. In the same way, also don't think it's ok to yell at your partner or speak to them in a way that makes them feel worthless. Your Dad and I have both been in unhealthy,unstable relationships in which the other person thought it was ok to act this way, then recoiled in horror as they were finally stood up to. These people are bullies, cowards and generally not very nice people. Sadly there are a lot of them around which can make it hard to find someone genuine. When you do though...wow! It's the best feeling! Your Dad took my bruised and untrusting heart and made it happy, vibrant and loving again! Please don't let your heart become this vulnerable to begin with, like i did. Find the courage to stand up for yourself before a bad situation becomes an everyday situation.

3. Don't do things just because your mates are. If you are ever uncomfortable with a situation, especially if it involves drugs or anything else illegal, just walk away! Trust me, you might get agro from so called friends at the time, but the decision will benefit you far more in the long run and it takes far more courage than just following irresponsible people who make bad decisions! 

4. Try to be positive! It can be hard some days, no matter your situation or age, to have a positive outlook. What you need to remember, however, is that there's always someone somewhere in a much worse situation than your own. Be thankful for every day, no matter how stressful. Afterall, there are people who are seriously ill who would do anything for a stressful day, as long as it meant they had their health back. 

5. Never forget where you come from! This is very important, especially if you ever become successful in any way. It never looks big or clever if you become arrogant and think you are better than anyone else. Always stay humble, it's much more appealing! 

6. Treat others as you would like to be treated. People who are only nice to certain people are not genuine. Have a smile for everyone and make others happy as well as yourself! There is an expression- 'a person who is nice to you, but rude to the waiter, is not a nice person'

I wish more people acted on this when I worked in catering! 

Now, I'm sure there are many other things i haven't covered, but these are pretty much the basics of how to grow up to be a nice, likeable person. I'm certain you won't even need to read this, as I know now by looking at your beautiful gummy smile that you'll be a lovely, happy man someday! Just know that, no matter where your life takes you, your Dad and I love you very very much and always will. 

All my love and hugs, always,

Mom 

XxxxxX

My very first Mother's Day!

So yesterday (Sunday 15th march 2015) was officially my first ever Mother's Day as a mother! I still can't believe I am lucky enough to have two great loves of my life like Lee and Dexter and someday, some more equally wonderful loves in the form of more babies! (Are you listening Lee?!)

When you are a kid, you only really remember the things your mom does for you when you're old enough to actually appreciate them. For example, i remember my mom taking my sister and i shopping for new clothes and spending loads on us when we were younger, but I don't remember the sleepless nights she had with me when I was teething or the toddler tantrums. Now I am a mom myself, I can appreciate things from another perspective. I am now the one experiencing sleepless nights, excessively stinky nappy changes, laundry up to my neck and a copious amount of Disney Junior! Although I don't deal with these things to gain any form of recognition, it is always nice to feel appreciated and loved for doing what you do...and a gummy smile from Dexter always helps soften the blow when I've just been peed on! 

My day started on Saturday night really! I had struggled through a really rough night with Dexter on Friday and he had (generously) allowed me to have 3 hours sleep. As you can imagine, by the time Lee finished work on Saturday afternoon, I was that tired i felt physically sick! (Have you ever been that tired? Worst.Feeling.Ever) We had to cancel plans with friends and stay in so that we could catch up on some much needed shut eye. After a three hour nap, we had some dinner, watched a bit of Saturday night telly and went back to bed! Lee then offered to get up with Dexter in the night so that I could actually have a full nights sleep. If there are any dads out there with young babies who are trying to stay in their partners good books, offering to get up in the night is absolutely the best thing you can possibly do! I so appreciated being able to sleep, knowing Dexter was in good hands. 

In the morning, i opened my eyes to hear Dexter doing his usual sing song in baby language while occasionally swatting at his cot mobile. Lee got Dexter dressed and handed him to me for my very first Mother's Day cuddle with my baby. I then spotted the awesome little vest he was wearing! 

I have to admit, I had to choke back a few tears as Dexter grinned at me while sporting this lovely, thoughtful gift. It was as if he was my special little present. Really, in a lot of ways he is! I know you're not meant to tell people, but Dexter was what I wished for when I blew out the candles on my 24th birthday cake. After suffering a miscarriage and trying for a year to get pregnant again to no avail, I suppose I thought making a wish was a long shot...but a shot all the same. So I closed my eyes tightly and wished that Lee and I would have our very own baby by the end of the year. And 25 days later, I was holding a positive pregnancy test! Since my wish came true, I don't think divulging that information will do much damage!

So anyway, after my little man had revealed his ootd, Lee and I went downstairs to give my mom her Mother's Day presents. We bought her a box of fudge, Rod Stewarts autobiography (not our cup of tea, but she was chuffed!) and a photo frame with pictures of Dexter in it. Lee then popped out to macdonalds to buy us all a breakfast! 

After brekkie, I went off to have a nice bath before My sister, nieces and nephew arrived! As you can see, Lili and I attempted a few nice pictures before giving up altogether and pulling rather unattractive faces!

As did Jazmine and i...

Oh, and my sister got a massive cuddle for being an excellent Mom!

Loving the sleeping photobomb from Dexter there!

 

After watching 'Cloudy with a chance of meatballs 2' (there was nothing else on sky movies that we hadn't seen), we ordered an Indian and had a lovely restful dinner, with the kitchen being a mommy free zone! Here are a few more snaps of the day-

Me attempting to take pictures with a tired and teething baby, not the easiest thing in the world to do!

Dexter, my niece Lili and me enjoying a good old selfie!

My beautiful cards from Lee and Dexter, with such lovely messages inside. Maybe Lee is a big softie after all? :)

...and finally my Rose and Lilly boquet (my favourite flowers), my Taylor Swift cd (because I have become obsessed with blank space...and have secretly loved her for years) and my yummy thorntons chocolates (which Lee and I ate later on in the evening while tucked up in bed catching up on Ibiza weekender!)

Now, on a more serious note. Although, like i said at the beginning of this post, I am extremely lucky to be celebrating Mother's Day not only with my own mother but also as a mother, it doesn't mean there isn't still a hint of sadness behind all of the celebrating. Looking around the room yesterday, I couldn't help but think of my Grandma. Growing up, i only ever had one living Grandma as my other grandparents passed away years before I was born, so she really was my only chance at having that sort of figure in my life. I remember lots of things about her, mostly silly things as she loved a laugh. I remember making fun of her because she couldn't reach the biscuits on the top shelf of the kitchen cupboard, how she was always on a diet so she had a huge bag of walkers lights in the corner of the living room, how she took the time to teach me and my cousins how to play card games and board games, how i would go into town with her on the bus then realise halfway through shopping that she was still wearing her slippers, how she would always make sure she had a tin of pea and ham soup in her cupboard for me because it was my favourite when I was little, how she would give me glasses of coke and jelly tots even though the E numbers made me hyper, how she would be up at 5am everyday because she fancied baking cakes and doing the washing ridiculously early and how she smelled. God, I miss her smell. I used to cuddle her and never want to let her go, and now I wish i didn't. Trust me, if I'd known the last time i would ever see her would be exactly that, the last time, I would have cuddled her tighter than ever and told her just how much i really loved her. She always was, always has been and always will be such an important influence in my life. I used to look out of the back window of the car as we were driving away from her house and wave to her until she was totally out of sight. I can still see her now, her cardigan sleeve bulging slightly from where she had stuffed a tissue earlier, her infamous slippers adorning her tiny size 4 feet. I sometimes see Dexter looking around the room, then i catch him smiling at, well, nothing. I could be wrong, but I always imagine it's my Grandma kneeling down talking to him and smiling her lovely warm smile. So please, I beg you, go and see your grandma. Hug her tight and tell her how much you love her and appreciate her. Tell her how happy she has made you. Tell her how you adore her with every ounce of your being. Because one day you will be  me. Not even able to look at photos of her without your eyes brimming with tears. I love you Grandma Xxxx

Until next time,

Laura Xxx

Lessons i have learnt since becoming a mother

From the moment you suspect you are pregnant, you feel different. Then you get that little message pop up on the screen of that ludicrously expensive pee stick, telling you that your life will NEVER be the same again (it actually says 'pregnant' and estimates how many weeks, but you know what I mean). 

I remember when I found out i was expecting Dexter. I had been moaning at Lee for weeks that my boobs were really sore, and I just felt funny but couldn't put my finger on what was causing it. Then my period was late and got later and later and later...then just didn't appear! I insisted I was pregnant but Lee was a little more sceptical as I did convince myself i was pregnant every time my period was anything more than a day late, which was quite often. It was a bit of wishful thinking on my part, since we suffered a miscarriage the previous year, I was dying to have a baby ever since. I think an event like that either makes you give up entirely or realise just how much you both wanted a family. With us it was the latter. So anyway, there i was trying to convince him and I finally got him to agree to buy a pee stick at the end of the month when I got paid, that was if my period didn't rear it's ugly head in the meantime. Now, I'm not often right but this time, I was definitely barking up the right tree for once! I got up at 3am with a start and looked at the test sitting next to the bed. I couldn't wait any longer so snuck off down the landing to the bathroom. Sitting there staring at a stick soaked in your own pee is not usually a passtime of mine, but I could feel myself shaking with nerves. Part of me knew how gutted i would be if the test was negative and also how Lee would be all 'i told you so' and life would just carry on as normal and I would feel as if i was never going to have a baby...ever! Then, there it was! My heart skipped a beat and my eyes filled with tears. I quickly washed my hands and rushed back to bed.

"Lee, Lee, Lee, Lee" i whispered while shaking him vigorously. 

Lee made some sort of grunting snort noise. 

"LOOK!! I was right!!" I exclaimed, shoving the test under his nose (which was perfectly acceptable under the circumstances).

He squinted at the test and held it away from his face, then closer. A big smile spread across his face and I knew he had read it. We were going to be parents!! 

Neither of us could sleep after that! Luckily, we both had the day off so we went off to macdonalds at 5am and had a celebratory breakfast as we were starving, excited and too tired to cook. Let's face it, nothing says 'wow, we're expecting a baby' like macdonalds hash browns!

So since that day, every second has been a learning curve. You'll find everyone and their nan wants to give you advice and tell you what they did when they were pregnant or when their children, who are now at least in their thirties, were little. Now, although you do take some advice and others with a pinch of salt, you still have to find your own style and way of doing things in general. Afterall, every baby is different and responds to very different things!

Here are the things i have learnt which have helped me, and also things i have learnt about myself since becoming a mom.

"His top lip is blue/white, he has wind"

Sounds daft doesn't it? Like some weird old wives tale you've found in some dusty book in the library, where the pictures display parents with bubble perms wearing stonewashed denim dungarees and batwing jumpers. Let me tell you, this is the best advice i ever received from my health visitor! It was just a passing comment, but one which has stayed with Lee and i and helped us on many occasions. Dexter had just finished his bottle and had been winded, but just wouldn't settle and kept fidgeting and moaning. Karen (that's the health visitor by the way) told us that he still had a bit of trapped wind because his top lip was a bluey white colour. Lee and I looked at each other like she had gone bonkers, but seconds after Lee slung him over his shoulder to pat his back, he had let out a colossal belch and was straight to sleep! We love this tip because we no longer wonder why he's niggling after a feed. Sometimes it's just a bit of wind that's still trapped, even after winding him for ages! 

There is no room for selfishness

I remember a time when I was about 17 and I thought the world revolved around me. Every payday involved me going shopping with my friends or online and buying a load of clothes, or whatever I wanted, and trying them on infront of the mirror and, depending on my mood, thinking i looked awesome or really fat (I was a size 8/10, how sickening). I would spend ages on MySpace and facebook and I could easily spend 3 hours just taking selfies and trying out different hairstyles or makeup looks. I'm pretty sure this is acceptable when you're a teenager with no real reponsibilities, but not when you're a Mom. I know of moms who can't wait to give their kids to someone else so they can go out and kid themselves that they're still 18 while gyrating around with immature teenage boys like they're desperate for attention. This really isn't my thing at all. I see Lee, myself and Dexter as a family and i much prefer to go out with them and see Dexter smile after a good day out than be ogled by boys who are off their faces and barely old enough to blow their nose. I mean, what will my party trick be? Showing off my c-section scar?! (I just threw up in my mouth a little) 

Of course, I'm not saying you can NEVER go out without your kids! That would be crazy! All I'm saying is, when you become a mom, there is no room to put yourself first. Yes, you might really want a new wardrobe or to have a spray tan or that expensive pair of shoes but if your baby needs a new car seat or new clothes in the next size, your needs should always come last. Moms can be wonderful and glamorous but do you know what makes a truly beautiful, amazing mom? One that would do anything to make her family happy. 

Taking a little time for you is ok

It might have sounded, in my last point, that you should only do things for your family and nothing for yourself. This of course isn't true! Once your baby has gone down for a nap, pamper yourself a little! 

Paint your nails, put on a face mask and watch a film you like or, like me, write a blog post! Taking some time to reconnect with yourself can help keep you calm and more relaxed and able to deal with stressful situations more easily. It's essential you still remember that you're a woman and not just a giant muslin square covered in sick and dribble!

Accepting help is important

You will find that everyone wants to babysit, even if it's just for 10 minutes while you sterilise bottles and put some laundry in the washing machine. I am still struggling with this, as I try to be Wonder Woman and do everything with Dexter on my hip. I figure that I need to adapt and learn to do things in a different way so I can hold the baby at the same time. It does help though, when I can have a little nap now and then and my mom has Dexter or when I can actually eat my dinner with two hands! Accepting a little help doesn't make you a failure, it just gives you a little time to recharge your batteries or to get jobs done which are difficult to do with one hand! Plus, you do need to remember your partner and sometimes it can be nice to pop out for a drink together or even watch a film together while a relative looks after your little one.

Kids tv is ridiculously catchy

I find myself singing the entire Mickey Mouse Clubhouse theme song on a regular basis, no joke! Dexter still has his naps and doesn't watch tv constantly, but when he does, he laughs his head off at Mickey Mouse! He also loves Bing bunny on Cbeebies. Be prepared to hum a tune to yourself and realise it was a song on today's episode of 'Sophia the first'. It can be a real eye roller when you catch yourself doing it, but it's something all parents can identify with! Just thank your lucky stars you don't have to deal with the teletubbies shouting 'again,again'!!

Have you got any parenting tips or ways you've found your life or outlook has changed since becoming a parent? I'd love to hear them :)

Until next time,

Laura Xx

Top 5 'i needed that' moments of this week

I have been a depressing old soul this past week or so. It's pure pants really since I have the most wonderful fiancé and gorgeous son, but some days i just feel like there is a great weight hanging around my neck and i just can't shake the feeling. What can I say? I'm just a walking contradiction!

Basically, when my confidence is at an all time low, or is non existent, there are little moments that i like to hold on to that help me through it. It could be only a passing few seconds, but if it's something which makes me smile, i like to hold on to it in my head and use it to try and perk myself up a bit. I suppose in the same way people put money away for a rainy day, i put thoughts away for a sad day. Think of me as a female Eeyore, and you're pretty much there!

Moment number one-

Dexters beautiful smile! This is a regular one as it happens several times a day, but my son has such a gorgeous gummy grin, it instantly makes me feel warm and fuzzy inside! Just knowing Lee and i  created this wonderful happy little person makes me want to be happy for him. I really don't want him to see me as someone who hides themself away and I don't want him to think that's the way you cope with depression. I'm working on it, i really am.

Moment number two-

Lee told me I was beautiful. This means so much because I spend so long infront of the mirror trying to look nice, for fear that another girl will catch Lee's eye. Deep down i know it won't happen, but when I'm so down in the dumps, I'm not easy to live with and i doubt everything. I love him for loving me despite all of this.

Moment number three-

My mom told me she thinks Lee and i are great parents. This made me really happy because, although it can be challenging at times, we do our very best for Dexter. I'm sure all parents will agree, it's a lovely feeling when someone compliments the way you raise your child. I think it's helped that we're still young enough to be daft ourselves without looking completely mental, so we bring that fun and silliness into our parenting. Obviously, when Dexter is a little older, we will bring the boring discipline too and set rules and boundaries. Right now I'm enjoying being a silly, song singing, face pulling kind of Mom! It's a welcome distraction from everything negative in my head and makes Dexter a happy little chappy!

Moment number four-

Lee's parents being amazed at how quickly Dexter is coming along. Dexter is already standing, aided of course, and he's only 17 weeks old on Tomorrow! He's so intent on standing in fact, sometimes he will cry until you hold his hands and help him to stand, then he refuses to sit down! Watching Dexter smile, laugh and babble away in baby language to his Nannie and Grandad and seeing them smile back in amazement makes me so so proud. Dexter brought me so much joy from the moment i first saw that beautiful little baby on the monitor at the hospital, to finding out baby was a 'he', to feeling those tiny little legs and arms jiggling about in my tummy to the present day and it's so nice to see him bring joy to others too!

Moment number five-

Watching my Niece, Lili, playing with Dexter. I have two nieces, Lili and Jazmine and a Nephew, Joel. I always love seeing them and they have me in stitches every time we talk. I look at them and can't believe what lovely, quick witted young people they've become and I'm so proud of them. They all make me proud in different ways, but last week in particular, Lili made me so proud  with the way she looked after her little cousin Dexter. It had been a couple of weeks since Dexter had seen them, so he likes to give them a good staring at for at least 10 minutes before he decides whether he will be smiley Dexter or sad Dexter. This entire time, Lili cuddled him on her lap and chatted away to him as if he was her best friend. It made me a bit emotional thinking of how i did exactly that with her when she was Dexters age, and how time has gone so quickly from then to now. It wasn't long before Dexter was smiling away and babbling to her, he absolutely loved her! Jazmine and Joel love Dexter to pieces and he loves them loads too, but as this post is about moments this week, Lili was nursery nurse of the day! Jaz and Joel got some lovely gummy grins and cuddles later on in the day though :) 

So there are my top five positive moments of the week! It's been quite therapeutic writing these down, as it's helped me put everything in perspective and made me think about how, although I have had a little dark cloud hanging over me lately, I am actually a very very lucky lady for lots of reasons. I'm sure my confidence will come back over time and moments like these will help me along the way. 

If you're a new mummy or mummy to be and you're feeling a little down in the dumps, maybe write down things that make you happy in your day to day lives and see how it lifts your mood. It can be just the motivation you need to do something positive and fulfilling in your life, maybe even something out of your comfort zone that you would have never even thought of before! I'm going to try and push myself more to do things out of my comfort zone and be a little braver. Not letting your lack of confidence get the better of you is the first step to feeling happier!

Much love,

Laura Xxx