50 things that make me happy!

So i have been noticing lately that a lot of bloggers are writing a list of their top 50 things that make them happy, so i thought i would join in! Off the top of my head, i can think of lots of things that make me happy...not so sure if i can easily think of 50 though! Here goes...

1. Dexter
2. Lee (my fiancé)
3. My cat Nala (she is totally insane)
4. Treat day!
5. Listening to Dexter babble away to himself in baby language
6. Watching Stella...or anything Ruth Jones has written or starred in
7. Printing photos and putting them in frames
8. Cuddles!
9. The feeling i get when i have pushed myself to do something out of my comfort zone :)
10. Dexters laugh
11. ...and Lee's laugh
12. clean washing
13. Nandos!
14. Pizza Express!
15. ...okay. No more restaurants. I promise
16. Online shopping
17. Strapping Dexter into the baby chair in the trolley when we go to the supermarket! So cute!
18. Red velvet cake
19. The Used (my favourite band)
20. When people retweet and favourite on twitter
21. Wedding inspo on Pinterest
22. Walks with Lee and Dexter
23. Days out with Lee and Dexter
24. Nights in with Lee and Dexter
25. Watching a movie you thought would be pants and actually loving it
26. My Macbook Pro
27. The pride you feel when people say your baby is cute
28. A warm cup of tea with a chocolate malted milk...or 7. Make that the whole bloomin' packet!
29. When pre pregnancy clothes fit again
30. When Dexter learns something new
31. Taking photos
32. My nieces and nephew
33. Reading
34. Unusual art
35. Pretty fonts
36. Jubbly ice lollies (i am obsessed with them!)
37. Anything to do with unicorns
38. Cat eye sunglasses
39. Fifties fashion and hairstyles
40. Reminiscing
41. That tunnel in the Sealife centre that makes you feel like you're underwater
42. Christmaaaaaaaaas!!
43. Anything that makes Lee and Dexter happy
44. Sleep...it's a rarity
45. Freshly painted toenails
46. Beauty and the Beast
47. Having my nails done
48. Animals. I'm a real animal lover :)
49. My Engagement ring and what it symbolises
50. Live Music

Okay...so it looks like i managed it! Had to scrape the barrel in a few places there, but you get the general idea! What are your 50 things?

Until next time,

Laura Xxx

How do you tell a child about death?

I know this post is going to be a lot less upbeat than usual, but it's a subject i've been thinking about a lot lately. It all started on Tuesday. Lee and i had taken Dexter out to Sutton and had a TGI fridays as my belated birthday meal (see my previous post). We hadn't been home long before my phone started ringing and, looking at the screen, saw that it was my sister. I answered and could tell straight away that she was crying.

"Are you alright? What's going on?" I asked.

"No, not really. Tom's been killed" she replied.

I couldn't even believe what i was hearing. Tom was my sisters ex husbands brother and only a little older than myself. I know to anyone reading this, it sounds like the family connection we had was far too distant for his death to have any sort of profound effect on me, but you would be wrong.

You see, my sister and her then boyfriend, Andy, started seeing each other when i was about 7. Andy came to school plays, family meals, even tucked me up in bed at night. To me, he was like the big brother i never had. Then, as Lisa and Andy became more serious and moved in together, that's when i met Tom. 

Tom was around 18 months older than me, with mousy brown hair and a love of all things WWF (which is what WWE was called at the time). My sister was soon having a baby who turned out to be my lovely niece, Lili, and Tom and I became not only a young Auntie and Uncle but also young Godparents. Tom was quite shy and unassuming whereas i was a bit louder and a bit of a fool! To be honest, i always felt like a total loser as i was chubby with mousy blonde hair and spots all over my podgy red face. Think Chunk from the goonies with a blonde wig, and you're probably not too far off.  As you can imagine, my appearance caused me to be picked on at school, so i never really felt worthy of friendship, especially if i thought the other person was cooler then myself (which wasn't hard, i can tell you!)

Tom, however, was different to the boys i went to school with. He was kind and intelligent and actually had opinions. I always remember him becoming obsessed with Limp Bizkit and constantly wearing a 'chocolate starfish and hotdog flavoured water' hoodie. He was the person who got me into rock music and i actually used to look forward to talking to him when i visited my sister and Andy's house. As we got older, we would both talk about the bands we were into, as i had become well and truly hooked on rock music and had ditched my pop music loving past self. I also started to gain a lot of confidence as i had dyed my hair a lovely shiny raven black and lost a lot of weight. I honestly think I looked up to Tom more than i ever realised at the time. He was the first lad i had ever met who wasn't an idiot or a bully and i really liked that. 

Years passed like this until he met the lovely Sonja, who would later become his wife. When they got married, My sister and Andy had recently split up but we were all still invited to their wedding celebration, as their actual wedding ceremony was in Mexico. I remember seeing how happy he and Sonja were and feeling so thrilled for them. It then hit me that i might never see them again and that everything was now going to change. I got upset and Andy and Tom gave me a big hug, and i remember never wanting to let them go. 

Sadly, the inevitable happened and i never really did get to see the two people i had considered big brothers for so long. Tom ended up having two lovely daughters with Sonja and Andy met someone else and recently had a new baby. I never forgot all of the memories we shared though and hope i don't for as long as i live. 

RIP Tom Xxx

So as you can tell, since my sister told me the news, i've been thinking a hell of a lot. Since i became a Mom, my ability to empathise has been overwhelming. I found myself thinking not only about Tom and hoping he wasn't in any pain when he died, but also about his parents and his wife. I looked at Dexter and thought about only having him in my life for 26 years and having to watch helplessly as he passed away, unable to do anything to help. How painful it must be to bury your child. It breaks my heart to even think about how difficult it would be for me personally. I also put myself in his wife, Sonja's, position. I look at Lee and have absolutely no idea how i would cope without him. Not only because he is the father of my child but also because he is my best friend, my rock, the love of my life. Losing him would be like losing my right arm. Then there's the task of explaining to Dexter where his Daddy is. I know at the age he is now, it would be difficult to explain such a thing as he can't understand fully what i was saying or talk back to me. Sadly, Toms daughters are old enough to miss him, have memories with him and find it hard to understand why their daddy's gone. Which brings me to the title of this blog post. How do you tell a child about death? The truth is, there's no step by step guide or Haynes manual on how to help your children, or even yourself, deal with the grief and pain of losing someone who was so important in your life. It's something you never ever get over, but just gets slightly easier to deal with in time. I hope i am never in the position where i have to   break such bad news to my son, or have to do the unthinkable and bury my child. 

I only hope that you all hug your partners and children a little closer after reading this and thank God, or your lucky stars, or whatever you believe in, that you aren't in the position that Tom's family is in now. Tell them you love them each and every day, at every opportunity. You never know when it'll be the last time. 

Stay safe, Much love

Laura Xxx

PS. If you want to donate at all to help Sonja with Toms funeral costs, please click on the link below

http://www.gofundme.com/rfaxb4…

My 25th Birthday & Dexters First Easter!

So Friday 3rd April (or good friday) marked the beginning of my Birthday/ Easter weekend. Me, Lee, Dexter, My sister Lisa, My nieces Lili and Jazmine, My Nephew Joel and my Parents were all off out for a late lunch at a lovely pub, not far from Shugborough Hall. We normally go out on the evening of my birthday, which is actually the 4th, but my nieces and nephew were off to their Dads to celebrate Easter and on the 3rd Jazmine was off to see Nicki Minaj with her friend and Lili was sleeping at her friends house. Ahhh, to have the social life of a teenager! The food was really nice and i built my own burger (well...i picked items from the menu and the staff did all the hard work, but you get the idea!) I also suffered the obligatory bringing out of the birthday cake, which was candy crush themed! We then went back to my sisters house for a little while and drank rosé. My sister bought me a voucher to get my nails done, which i was over the moon with as my nails have been rather neglected since Dexter came along!

Saturday was my actual birthday! It still feels weird to say i'm 25. I remember when i was little and i thought if you were over 20, you were pretty much ancient. So, there i was on Saturday morning, being pretty much ancient and munching toast! I'd been dreading this birthday a little bit as i was going to spend it alone until Lee finished work. well, i say alone, i had the hyperactive cat and Dexter, who happened to be aggressively teething at the time. I was woken up nice and early at around 5.20am by Dexter yelling what sounded like drunken ramblings but i would say translated to "get me out of this cot, Mickey Mouse clubhouse starts soon!" 

Lee shot off downstairs and made me a cuppa and brought my prezzies and cards to me in bed. I got some lovely things!

My parents and Lee had clubbed together to get me an amazing macbook pro retina, so i could blog a lot more easily, and Lee also bought me the Sims 4 and a disc drive for my macbook. Dexter bought me Bill and Ted's excellent adventure and Bill and Ted's bogus journey on dvd as i love those films!
My parents also bought me some lovely Zoella soak opera bath soak, Zoella fizz bar, Zoella makeup bag (i love me some Zoella products!), You're the one that I want by Giovanna Fletcher (i read Billy and Me when i was in hospital having Dexter and it was amazing!) and a beautiful bracelet engraved with the words 'So...there's this boy who stole my heart...and changed my name to Mummy'. I also got some money from Lees' Mom and The Fault In Our Stars on dvd from Lee's brother and partner.

The excitement was too much for Dexter!

As i was saying earlier, i was meant to be spending the day alone but, luckily, my nephew came round and kept me company and Lee managed to finish work early, so Joel, Lee and i had a cheeky Macdonalds before he went back home. Lee and i were then meant to be going out for a couple of drinks but, as we were both absolutely knackered from Dexter and his mischievous gums wreaking havoc in the night, we spent the afternoon in our pyjamas in bed, napping and drinking tea!
The evening was, however, spent eating indian food and watching Saturday night telly which was nice and relaxing as i love eating a curry and not having to dress up and leave the house to do it! I think that might be my Mummy brain talking!

Easter!!
So the following day was Easter Sunday aka stuff as much chocolate in your mouth as humanly possible day! I hear that calories consumed on this day don't count...but i'm pretty sure with my track record of simply looking at food and putting on weight, i can safely say this doesn't apply to me! Dexter woke up quite early, but he obviously didn't have any chocolate eggs to open because he's far too little. I'm sure he would've gummed the living daylights out of an egg, but at five months old, he'll have to wait until next year! Lee and i had bought Dexter a few little presents instead. He had an In The Night Garden bedtime little library, full of tiny little books containing a story about each character on the programme,Tomy play to learn hide 'n' squeak eggs, which basically look like a box of eggs but double as a shape sorter and squeak toy and some Bright Starts activity balls which are colourful balls that each do a little something different! He seemed happy enough with his presents anyway, you always know he likes something if he tries to eat it and, let's just say, his new toys were covered in dribble within a few minutes!

After getting Dexter and ourselves dressed, we went downstairs where my mom had three bags of gifts waiting for us! Dexter had the biggest bag which contained some tigger socks, two David and Goliath baby vests, a Ramones T-shirt and a board book version of 'We're Going On a Bear Hunt'. My sister had left Dexter a lovely George (as in Peppa Pigs' brother) easter feeding set with a bowl, cup and spoon and little tiny easter egg (which ended up in our not so little tiny tummies) and a lovely little Peppa Pig teether with a hoop to attach it to his pushchair! Lee's brother Darren and partner Sarah bought Dexter a cute little feeding set too, with little Easter chicks and rabbits all over it! Needless to say, he was a very lucky boy!
Lee and i were bought gorgeous Thorntons chocolate eggs by my Sister, lovely Easter eggs by Lee's Mom and a few little gifts by my mom, as we were trying not to eat chocolate...but ended up stuffing our faces! My Mom bought Lee an 'Eat,Sleep,Conquer,Repeat' Brock Lesnar t-shirt as he's a big fan and i got a Chinese lucky cat. Yes, the kind that repeatedly wave at you! i've really wanted one for ages, don't ask me why!

The day itself was a lovely one, spent with family. We went to Lee's parents house for a meal, which was really nice, and spent some time with Lee's sister Michelle, her Husband James, their little boy Alex, Lee's Brother Darren, Darren's partner Sarah and obviously Lee's Mom and Dad! It was nice to have a little drink and a catch up with everyone. It was also lovely to see Alex noticing Dexter a bit more and smiling and pointing at him, just can't wait until they're both running around giggling together!
That evening,when we got back home, we spent some time with my parents, my sister and nieces and nephew after they got back from their Dads house. Then, after everyone had gone home, got into bed, ate lots and lots of chocolate and caught up on some tv!

On Tuesday, Lee and i decided to take Dexter out. Since we didn't go out for my birthday on Saturday, we decided to go to TGI Fridays in Sutton Coldfield and have a nice lunch! It was such a lovely, sunny day which was great because we needed to go and buy Dexter a sun hat after our meal and we didn't really fancy getting soaked in the process! We got there dot on 12pm, just as TGI's opened, so it was lovely and quiet when we walked in there! Lee ordered a banana milkshake, i ordered an Oreo one and we sat and looked through the menu. Lee and i both ordered the bacon and cheese taquito bites as our appetizers and Lee ordered the Monster 2.0 (which is a HUGE burger!) as his main. I couldn't decide, but finally opted for the BBQ pulled pork burger, which was lovely! Lee then realised he was immensely jealous of my Oreo milkshake and ordered one for himself! I, however, fancied something fruity so i had a 'strawberry fields' instead, which is a concoction of strawberry purée with apple juice, elderflower cordial, rose and vanilla syrup, topped with soda and crushed ice. As you can imagine, we left TGI's extremely full!

After all that food, we walked into Sutton town centre and visited H&M to try and buy Dexter a sun hat. After negotiating the lift with the pushchair, we had a good look at all of the caps on offer, but they were all far too big for Dexter's head! Just as we were about to give up, Lee and i both spotted some caps on the sale rail. After trying a couple on, we finally found one that fitted his head! It's a lovely, bright red angry birds cap and he looks so much older when he wears it! It looks as if he's going to be one of those people who suit hats...you either are or you aren't! I couldn't believe it was only £2!
After all the excitement of eating our weight in food and finding a bargain, we were far too tired and full to walk around any more! We waddled back to the car and went back home! 

I loved my belated birthday meal out with my little family and the fact that, for once, it wasn't tipping it down, was a real bonus! How did you spend your Easter? I hope whatever you did, you enjoyed yourself!

Until next time,
Laura Xxx

Liebster award!!

So...I have a confession to make. This is not the first Liebster award that I have been nominated for! I have been so stupidly disorganised, I have totally forgotten to actually write my Liebster award post! 

Basically, my first nomination was a couple of months ago from the very lovely Cat at www.catjulia.com. She was probably the first Mummy blogger i spoke to and was so nice, so i really appreciated being nominated by her. She's even set up a business called Max & the Star, which sells gorgeous dribble bibs, burp cloths, teething rings, bunting, infinity scarves and even headbands, all of which she makes herself in stunning fabrics! Take a look at all of her lovely items on Facebook, Etsy, and even Instagram! Thank you for nominating me so long ago Cat, sorry it's taken so long!

My second nomination was a few days ago from a lovely lady called Steph over at www.ournextfewsteps.blogspot.co.uk  and her twitter handle is @stephblake_xo

She is currently expecting her first baby which is due in May, so not very long to go now! You'll love her if you're currently pregnant as you'll identify with a lot of what she has to say, but I also love reading her blog as it's a real trip down memory lane to when I was carrying Dexter! Thank you so much for the nomination, lovely! 

Part of the Liebster nomination is having some questions to answer which have been asked by the blogger who nominated you! So, here are the questions asked by Steph-

1.Why did you decide to start blogging?

I decided to start blogging as it was always something I'd wanted to do as I've always enjoyed writing  and the timing just seemed right! It was January this year i officially wrote my first blog post and I've been hooked ever since! I think before I had Dexter, I wouldn't have had a clue what to write about. I suppose you could say Dexter is my muse! 

2. What do you love and hate most about blogging?

I love the fact that, if you write something people enjoy reading, they tell you! It makes me so happy when people say they like a post I've written, it's the best!

The thing i hate is Html coding as I am really out of touch with it! At some point in the next few months I am going to pay the have my blog redesigned so it's a little more aesthetically pleasing. If it was left to me to sort it out, it would look horrendous. I seriously think my coding skills are from the Stone Age. In other words, non existent! 

3. If you won £1000, what would be the first thing you'd buy? 

I think I'd pay for a really really nice holiday for me, Lee and Dexter! My pregnancy was really rough as I had pre eclampsia, so last year was full of trips back and forth to the hospital and worrying about Dexter. Plus Lee and I haven't been away together since 2013 so it would be great for us to have a break from everyday life and take Dexter on his first big adventure! :)

4. How would you describe yourself in three sentences or less?

I would probably say that I'm a nice, friendly and dependable person who is fiercely loyal. I'm also very family orientated, loving and caring with a big heart. Plus, i like a good laugh!

5.Name one thing you would never change about yourself.

The first thing that comes to mind is the fact that I'm a mother. But if this is an appearance question, i like my high cheekbones! 

6. Tell us your most embarrassing memory

Oh gawwwwwwd! Ok, so I was in my first year at high school and I was sitting in food technology class. We all sat on stools at desks, unless we were at the worktop cooking. I, for some reason, decided it was a good idea to swing on my chair, forgetting that it was actually a stool. I fell backwards,  pushed the table behind me and landed in a heap on the floor infront of the whole class. Just to make matters worse, when I got up off the floor, I has ripped my trousers so my knickers were on show! Ugh, so embarrassing!

7. Three things you couldn't live without?

Lee. Dexter. Ipad

8. Your favourite quote?

"Be who you are and say what you feel because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind!"- Dr Seuss

I am still totally and utterly amazed when anyone reads my blog, and especially when they comment and tell me how much they enjoy what I write! Quite honestly, I don't plan anything beforehand. I just sit here and type until I'm happy with what appears, so for people to enjoy it is a real achievement for me! So, before I well up with happiness, or the baby wakes up and decides he wants to eat my hair today, here are my Liebster award nominations to all of those awesome bloggers out there who deserve some recognition!

@alexs_mumma

www.perfectenoughforus.com

@raising3andme

www.raising3andme.wordpress.com

@harmonychaos

www.harmonyandchaos.wordpress.com

@meandmebabber

www.meandmebabber.co.uk

@ViclilSecrets

www.victoriaslittlesecrets.co.uk

@Mummys_Blog

www.mummytruthsblog.wordpress.com

@thepndmonster

www.adventureswithmonster.wordpress.com

@determinedhwife

www.thedeterminedhousewife.com

@LMAblogger

www.lilymaeadventures.com

@twoboymummy

www.twoboymummy.blogspot.co.uk

My questions for Nominees-

1. Where do you see yourself in 5 years?

2. How would you spend a perfect day?

3. If you could have dinner with anyone,living or dead, who would it be and why?

4. If you were stranded on a desert island with only 3 items of your choice, what would the items be?

5. What is your favourite band and/or singer?

6. If you could live anywhere in the world, where would it be and why?

7. What's the best holiday you've ever been on?

8. What do you like best about blogging?

The Rules-

Thank the person who nominated you and link back to their blog

Answer the questions above in a blog post

Nominate at least 10 blogs with 400 followers or less for the Liebster award

Ask some questions of your own

Let your nominees know you nominated them

Thank you so much Cat and Steph! And to the people i nominated, i really look forward to reading your posts! :)