There have been quite a few occasions where I have thought 'if you had told me a year ago I would be doing this/saying this/like this i wouldn't have believed you'. So let me elaborate and maybe we can find some common ground? Either that or you will think I am absolutely mental and never read my blog again!! You win some, you lose some i suppose!
: You start picking someone else's nose. Dear God. Please please say you do this too?! Dexter gets so much food up his nose now he is chowing down on solids, that little bits of food dry up in his nostrils. So along comes mommy and, well, picks them out. Gross i know, but I can't just leave him with spaghetti bolognese dried up in his nose as if he has had some sort of tomato based nosebleed! That's my justification anyway and I'm sticking to it!
: You get poo on you...and wee...and puke...and snot...and dribble. Want a baby? Don't be squeamish! There is no time in the day for squeamish, seriously. Dexter deliberately wipes his nose on my shoulder if he feels the need,as if I am a giant Kleenex. So please don't rush out to buy expensive clothes, unless you like to accessorise with a nice brooch made of vom. Graphic but true!
: You will sing row row row your boat until the words have literally lost all meaning. It may be a different song or activity for you and your little one, but Dexter would happily have me holding his hands and rowing that boat all day long if he was my boss. Which he kind of is now... Oh god.
: You'll know all of the words to theme songs from cbeebies. Special mention to Mickey Mouse Clubhouse too, as Dexter is obsessed! Also, Jake and the Neverland Pirates, Sophia the First etc... Why do they make them so flipping catchy?
: You keep an absurd amount of your child's favourite programme in your sky planner, just incase they have a meltdown. Dexters is Bing, and we have quite possibly every episode ever televised saved. Bing has helped us through teething tantrums and bedtime sleep fighting, and we are eternally grateful!
: You don't have a bath or shower until after lunchtime...or at high speed while your little one is taking a nap. Sad but true. Some days it can even be hard to just get dressed, especially if your little one is having a particularly bad day. I have found this more so when Dexter is teething, as he becomes king of the grumps!
:You can never get anything done! I personally wake up every morning and think 'right, i'll get this done today'. Just imagine i'm enthusiastically gesticulating towards a pile of washing and you'll get the picture. (FYI, i never enthusiastically gesticulate). Then, before i know it, it's 3pm, i'm covered in dribble and food debris with absolutely no jobs checked off my list. Not even one! This is pretty much every day. Oh no, wait, the other day i had the privilege of folding laundry while Dexter had a nap. And so concludes the jobs i have been able to get done this week.
Let's not forget, however, the positives in parenting. There are many of them which are often overlooked. Let's face it, it's a lot funnier telling someone about the time you got poo on your cheek than going on and on about how angelic they are when they're sleeping and showing everyone a slideshow of your album entitled 'Mommy's little soldier'. But you know what? Let's go there! Let's have a little gloat at how wonderful our kids are. We all do it... When they're asleep and we have had a glass of wine. Here goes...
:You will laugh a ridiculous amount. You will laugh until your jaw aches and you think you might wee yourself a little bit if you don't get to the loo in the next 5 seconds. Let's face it, from an early age, kids are bloody hilarious! Dexter just has to pull a face and i'm howling. And he now has a habit of laughing whenever i'm laughing. So, much to Lee's annoyance, i laugh for much much longer as i then start laughing at Dexter laughing at me. I'm sure you get my drift! Lee can never hear anything on the telly at all. Sorry Lee!
:You can never get anything done! I personally wake up every morning and think 'right, i'll get this done today'. Just imagine i'm enthusiastically gesticulating towards a pile of washing and you'll get the picture. (FYI, i never enthusiastically gesticulate). Then, before i know it, it's 3pm, i'm covered in dribble and food debris with absolutely no jobs checked off my list. Not even one! This is pretty much every day. Oh no, wait, the other day i had the privilege of folding laundry while Dexter had a nap. And so concludes the jobs i have been able to get done this week.
Let's not forget, however, the positives in parenting. There are many of them which are often overlooked. Let's face it, it's a lot funnier telling someone about the time you got poo on your cheek than going on and on about how angelic they are when they're sleeping and showing everyone a slideshow of your album entitled 'Mommy's little soldier'. But you know what? Let's go there! Let's have a little gloat at how wonderful our kids are. We all do it... When they're asleep and we have had a glass of wine. Here goes...
:You will laugh a ridiculous amount. You will laugh until your jaw aches and you think you might wee yourself a little bit if you don't get to the loo in the next 5 seconds. Let's face it, from an early age, kids are bloody hilarious! Dexter just has to pull a face and i'm howling. And he now has a habit of laughing whenever i'm laughing. So, much to Lee's annoyance, i laugh for much much longer as i then start laughing at Dexter laughing at me. I'm sure you get my drift! Lee can never hear anything on the telly at all. Sorry Lee!
:Although i moaned about it earlier, you actually start to enjoy watching kids tv because it makes your little one happy. I love the beaming smile on Dexters face every time he hears the opening titles for 'Bing'. Dex really really loves that bunny!
:You will kill people for a toy that your child wants. Now, this point goes way way back to when i was little and i remember my parents scouring the toys r us stores of the uk for a baby all gone doll. If you don't know what baby all gone is, you are seriously missing out. Remember the doll with a perm who stunk of cherries? Yes, i was obsessed with her! She actually ate cherries!! It wasn't a retractable spoon or anything, she ate them and that's the end of it! So, anyway, this particular doll was toy of the year and she was like gold dust to get hold of. Bear in mind this was in the days before the internet so my Mom had my Dad ringing around every toy shop going, just incase they had one going spare. I even remember visiting a fair few toy shops during their quest, but leaving empty handed. I did, however, finally get her on my birthday. It was 4 months after christmas, but the photo my Mom put in my photo album of little old me grinning from ear to ear and clutching my dolly is priceless to her. And now i get it. Now i understand why they did all that searching and ringing around. It was to put a smile on my face. And, looking at Dexters cute little grin, i totally appreciate how important that is. Which is why we bought Dexter a 'my friend Bing' toy on the day it was released as we were worried they would sell out. It's been put away until his birthday, but it's ready and waiting to put a big beaming smile on his face.
:You still feel a little flutter inside when you've washed your little ones clothes and you hold them up to see how tiny they are. I still find it so sad that Dexter can't fit into 0-3 months rompers anymore, and the realisation that it won't be long before he's walking and getting about himself is hitting hard. Being a parent is bittersweet. You spend everyday amazed at what new and exciting thing your little one has learnt, but at the same time, you wish time would rewind or at least pause long enough for you to take everything in before they're all grown up.
And so concludes my parental observations...for now! It would be nice to hear about your little ones and what things you have found bizarre or unexpected when becoming a parent. They're odd little creatures, kids. But do you know what? They're our odd little creatures! And they're bloomin' amazing...
...at times 😂
Until next time!
Laura Xxx
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