Any Regrets?

So i type this as i sit in my living room, alone and feeling sorry for myself. My fiancé has gone with his mate from work to watch Walsall v Chelsea which has left me at home with Dexter. This wouldn't bother me half as much if i wasn't feeling so unwell. Dex has had a diarrhoea bug for the past few days and i'm pretty sure that me feeling achey and under the weather is something to do with him passing it on to me! Now he's gone to bed, however, and the silence is deafening. I really really hate being at home on my own. It makes me think too much. 

When i was about 15, i was convinced that i would be a world famous tattoo artist by the time i was 21. I thought that i would be able to ensure the financial stability of everyone around me and i would date some heavily tattooed bloke in a band who would think i was bloody marvellous. We would be the next Sid and Nancy...without the drugs and death though obviously! All of my friends would be these arty, alternative types with crazy coloured hair and piercings and i would live in London in some massive gothic mansion.

As you can tell, my life panned out very differently! I often wonder what would have happened if i just went with what i wanted to do and applied to uni, instead of letting myself be talked out of it by my then boyfriend. He was a big underachiever who had a much higher opinion of his xbox than me and, looking back now, i just can't believe i let someone like that have such control over my life and my future. I remember going on a residential trip to London with my A-Level media class and absolutely loving the rush and noise of the city...and that just never left me. 

What actually happened to me is not exactly glamorous. I started working in my local Asda café when i was 16 and started seeing a bloke who started out like Dr Jekyll and ended up very much like  Mr Hyde. For some reason, despite physical and mental abuse, i carried on seeing him for five long years. That was until someone else caught my eye. He was tall and tanned and fit and, although i had been monogamous for my entire relationship, i found myself thinking about him more and more. He was funny and witty too, literally the most gorgeous man i had ever seen. He was also friends with my boyfriend at the time. Part of me knew that i should end my relationship but, every time i tried to, he would cry and beg for me back. He would tell me he was sorry for all of the nasty things he did and said and that he would never do it again. Trouble was, i was sick of hearing it every week. I was tired of feeling lied to and betrayed all the time and, slowly but surely, i stopped feeling any loyalty towards him whatsoever. 

I went out one day with this guy as i needed to shop for my best friends birthday present and we kissed...a lot. It was never my intention to go about things the way i did, but we knew that we liked each other. 

Lee and i on one of our first dates at the Sealife centre.

Needless to say, it all got very messy for a while and my name was dragged through the mud at work (did i mention we all worked together?). My then ex went around like butter wouldn't melt, crying to anyone who would listen about how i betrayed him and how i was so horrible. He of course, failed to mention the time he picked me up by my throat or the time he pushed me so hard against my chest of drawers, my back was black and blue. Funny that! I could have written a book on betrayal after that relationship, but my new fella helped me re write all of the pages of my story. 

Within 4 months of our relationship starting, we had moved out together and he had asked me to marry him! As you may have guessed, this lovely new man is my Lee. The absolute love of my life and the reason i have a beautiful son asleep upstairs right now. 

So, to answer the the question, no! I have no regrets! Not a single one! The way i see it is, if i had gone to university i might never have met Lee and had Dexter.

Much better than a degree, don't you think?

So, next time someone tries to make you feel bad for how your life has panned out, or makes you feel like becoming a mother is not a bloody massive achievement, have a think. Think carefully about how your life could be without your little one and your partner. I'm betting, despite the sleeplessness and looking like a bit of a wreck from time to time, you wouldn't change it for the world! (Also, give that person a dead leg from me!!)

Until next time,

Laura Xxx

We moved house!!

It's so good to be back!! My life has changed so much since my last post, we have loads to catch up on!

Ok, so i don't think i've ever discussed this on here, but Lee, Dexter and myself were all living with my parents up until 2 weeks ago. I know, i am 25 and i was still living with my parents...and with a fiancé and baby to boot! The situation really wasn't ideal, no matter how welcome my parents thought they were being. There just comes a time in your life when you want to be in your own little family bubble, and it was very difficult to feel like a little family when we weren't in our own home. It was starting to put a strain on Lee and i as we just never felt fully relaxed and, although people might disagree, i feel that Dexter could sense that we weren't fully happy and i just don't think that he should be around negativity on a day to day basis. 

So, after talking about it a lot, Lee and i decided we were going to find a place of our own! We wanted somewhere that was close to a good school, preferably in a quiet area and with decent neighbours. Also, we wanted the house itself to be finished to a high standard and to have a garden  because we were planning to live there for a long time. Not much on our checklist was there?! While Lee was at work, i was scrolling through right move and booking viewings with various estate agents. Luckily, the house we now actually live in was only the second place we looked at and we knew as soon as we stepped inside that it was the house for us!

Obviously, i can't go into too much detail about where it is that we live. What i can say is that we absolutely love living here! We are in a lovely little cul-de-sac full of other children ranging from Dexters age to around 10 years old and our next door neighbours are lovely! Oh, and their dog is called Dexter!

So, aside from being crazy busy, we have had to wait two weeks for our internet to be installed, hence the silence on my part. I'm sorry! But i assure you, i have lots of ideas for upcoming posts and i won't be going away again any time soon! Oh, and while i'm here, i just want to thank the 900 people who have followed me on twitter! It's such a huge milestone for me. I know i'm not quite Zoella and sometimes i don't even have the chance to brush my hair until midday, but to this girl, you are all amazing and very much appreciated! :) Thank you so much!

So please keep 'em peeled for my future posts and thanks for reading! It's Friday night so i'm off to watch 8 out of 10 cats does countdown with Lee, eat some crisps and recline on our new sofa! i know, we are the coolest people you have ever come across...

*ahem*

Anyway, until next time,

much love, Laura XxxX

Things you never imagined would change when becoming a parent...but did

Ok, so there are obvious things which change when becoming a parent. We all know about the privacy thing and the waking up in the night thing...but what about the things midwives and doctors don't tell you about? The things that only other moms and dads will confess to if you are very close friends with them...or they very openly write on facebook?! (Depends on the person i suppose!)

There have been quite a few occasions where I have thought 'if you had told me a year ago I would be doing this/saying this/like this i wouldn't have believed you'. So let me elaborate and maybe we can find some common ground? Either that or you will think I am absolutely mental and never read my blog again!! You win some, you lose some i suppose!

: You start picking someone else's nose. Dear God. Please please say you do this too?! Dexter gets so much food up his nose now he is chowing down on solids, that little bits of food dry up in his nostrils. So along comes mommy and, well, picks them out. Gross i know, but I can't just leave him with spaghetti bolognese dried up in his nose as if he has had some sort of tomato based nosebleed! That's my justification anyway and I'm sticking to it!

: You get poo on you...and wee...and puke...and snot...and dribble. Want a baby? Don't be squeamish! There is no time in the day for squeamish, seriously. Dexter deliberately wipes his nose on my shoulder if he feels the need,as if I am a giant Kleenex. So please don't rush out to buy expensive clothes, unless you like to accessorise with a nice brooch made of vom. Graphic but true! 

: You will sing row row row your boat until the words have literally lost all meaning. It may be a different song or activity for you and your little one, but Dexter would happily have me holding his hands and rowing that boat all day long if he was my boss. Which he kind of is now... Oh god.

: You'll know all of the words to theme songs from cbeebies. Special mention to Mickey Mouse Clubhouse too, as Dexter is obsessed! Also, Jake and the Neverland Pirates, Sophia the First etc... Why do they make them so flipping catchy? 

: You keep an absurd amount of your child's favourite programme in your sky planner, just incase they have a meltdown. Dexters is Bing, and we have quite possibly every episode ever televised saved. Bing has helped us through teething tantrums and bedtime sleep fighting, and we are eternally grateful! 

: You don't have a bath or shower until after lunchtime...or at high speed while your little one is taking a nap. Sad but true. Some days it can even be hard to just get dressed, especially if your little one is having a particularly bad day. I have found this more so when Dexter is teething, as he becomes king of the grumps!

:You can never get anything done! I personally wake up every morning and think 'right, i'll get this done today'. Just imagine i'm enthusiastically gesticulating towards a pile of washing and you'll get the picture. (FYI, i never enthusiastically gesticulate). Then, before i know it, it's 3pm, i'm covered in dribble and food debris with absolutely no jobs checked off my list. Not even one! This is pretty much every day. Oh no, wait, the other day i had the privilege of folding laundry while Dexter had a nap. And so concludes the jobs i have been able to get done this week.

Let's not forget, however, the positives in parenting. There are many of them which are often overlooked. Let's face it, it's a lot funnier telling someone about the time you got poo on your cheek than going on and on about how angelic they are when they're sleeping and showing everyone a slideshow of your album entitled 'Mommy's little soldier'. But you know what? Let's go there! Let's have a little gloat at how wonderful our kids are. We all do it... When they're asleep and we have had a glass of wine. Here goes...

:You will laugh a ridiculous amount. You will laugh until your jaw aches and you think you might wee yourself a little bit if you don't get to the loo in the next 5 seconds. Let's face it, from an early age, kids are bloody hilarious! Dexter just has to pull a face and i'm howling. And he now has a habit of laughing whenever i'm laughing. So, much to Lee's annoyance, i laugh for much much longer as i then start laughing at Dexter laughing at me. I'm sure you get my drift! Lee can never hear anything on the telly at all. Sorry Lee!

Just a couple of photos I save on my phone for a giggle when I need it!

:Although i moaned about it earlier, you actually start to enjoy watching kids tv because it makes your little one happy. I love the beaming smile on Dexters face every time he hears the opening titles for 'Bing'. Dex really really loves that bunny!

:You will kill people for a toy that your child wants. Now, this point goes way way back to when i was little and i remember my parents scouring the toys r us stores of the uk for a baby all gone doll. If you don't know what baby all gone is, you are seriously missing out. Remember the doll with a perm who stunk of cherries? Yes, i was obsessed with her! She actually ate cherries!! It wasn't a retractable spoon or anything, she ate them and that's the end of it! So, anyway, this particular doll was toy of the year and she was like gold dust to get hold of. Bear in mind this was in the days before the internet so my Mom had my Dad ringing around every toy shop going, just incase they had one going spare. I even remember visiting a fair few toy shops during their quest, but leaving empty handed. I did, however, finally get her on my birthday. It was 4 months after christmas, but the photo my Mom put in my photo album of little old me grinning from ear to ear and clutching my dolly is priceless to her. And now i get it. Now i understand why they did all that searching and ringing around. It was to put a smile on my face. And, looking at Dexters cute little grin, i totally appreciate how important that is. Which is why we bought Dexter a 'my friend Bing' toy on the day it was released as we were worried they would sell out. It's been put away until his birthday, but it's ready and waiting to put a big beaming smile on his face.

:You still feel a little flutter inside when you've washed your little ones clothes and you hold them up to see how tiny they are. I still find it so sad that Dexter can't fit into 0-3 months rompers anymore, and the realisation that it won't be long before he's walking and getting about himself is hitting hard. Being a parent is bittersweet. You spend everyday amazed at what new and exciting thing your little one has learnt, but at the same time, you wish time would rewind or at least pause long enough for you to take everything in before they're all grown up.

And so concludes my parental observations...for now! It would be nice to hear about your little ones and what things you have found bizarre or unexpected when becoming a parent. They're odd little creatures, kids. But do you know what? They're our odd little creatures! And they're bloomin' amazing...

...at times 😂

Until next time! 

Laura Xxx

Wedding with a baby

So Thursday 28th May 2015 brought the day of my cousin Rachaels' wedding to her partner, Tom. Prior to the day itself, i had already had a miniature meltdown about whether we needed to bring Dexters high chair or not and had duly discussed this on Facebook with my big sister, Rachaels' big sister and another one of my cousins, Jodi and Rachael herself. FYI, the conclusion was that they thought the venue would provide them...but we brought it with us anyway...just incase. 

We also brought pretty much everything but the kitchen sink. Having not attended a wedding with a baby before, i found myself packing a crazy amount of stuff to try and keep him entertained incase any teething related tantrums ensued. Lee and i also had the obligatory 'have we got everything/where the hell is that/i'm dead stressed/the baby is having a tantrum' pre wedding argument. Peace was restored when we finally got everything in the car though!

The venue itself was beautiful, but we knew that already as it's the venue we had chosen for our evening reception...whenever we actually save up enough to actually book it! We travelled up the long driveway and saw the picturesque house appear in the distance. We pulled up and waited for a short time until we saw my parents, sister, nieces and nephew pull up, followed by my Uncle Dave, Auntie Jackie and cousin Natalie. It's been a long time since our family last had a proper get together, so i had been really looking forward to the day. Not to mention seeing my cousin in her wedding dress!

My cousin Rachael was one of my closest friends growing up. She is only 18 months older than me and, even though she has always been little miss bossy (she will admit this herself), i love her to pieces! I have so many funny memories of childhood sleepovers, birthday parties and family barbecues with her and my other lovely cousins. My family is far from perfect, but these wonderful memories are perfect to me and can make me smile when i'm feeling particularly down in the dumps.
I will always remember her obsession with having a midnight feast every time we had a sleepover...and the fact that she decided chocolate ready brek in a glass would be a decent snack. That was until she knocked hers all over her brand new carpet then tried to cover it with a rug. It would have been a genius plan if my Uncle Ian hadn't decided to hoover her room the next morning. Awkward!
I also remember how she was completely fearless and absolutely nothing seemed to bother her. She had a flat roof just outside her bedroom window and thought absolutely nothing of leaping out of the window onto said roof...then lying down if anybody came out of the house so they couldn't see her!

Cue embarrassing photo!
Rachael and I at my sisters 21st birthday party (it was a 1970's theme).
We would have been 9 and 10 here.

There were also the times when Rachael was really caring, like the time i projectile vomited in the video shop. Yes, it was one of the most embarrassing moments of my life. In my defence i was about 10 and had a tummy bug...but there was no way in hell Rach and I were calling time on our sleepover! Despite the fact the woman behind the counter went a bit green around he gills at the sight of my vom all over her videos, Rachael helped me to the loo behind the counter to clean me up. She was absolutely laughing her head off, but still helped me all the same!

It's so weird to think that we're all grown up now and both have our own children and separate lives, but i still think about these daft times we had together as kids. Seeing Rachael in her wedding dress made me feel so proud to be her cousin and so pleased that she was happy! I have to admit, it was a tad embarrassing when we were asked to speak now if there was any lawful reason why they couldn't be married and Dexter decided that was the right time to fart. Luckily, it wasn't one of his loudest ones so we just about got away with it i think!

After the ceremony, we all moved outside and had drinks on the patio while Rachael and Tom had photos taken. Luckily, the weather was beautiful so no umbrellas were needed! We were then ushered into the beautiful ballroom for the wedding breakfast. The food was absolutely amazing!
Dexter was feeling special as he had his own place card and high chair ready and waiting for him.

Lee and Dexter looking suave in their suits


Overall, the whole day was amazing from start to end. I always think it feels much more special being at the wedding of someone who you're close to or have a lot of history with as you're genuinely so happy for them. Dexter must've sensed the happiness as he was a little diamond all day, even smiling for everyone and falling asleep at 7pm during the disco! And yes, it was a pain in the ass lugging a gigantic baby bag around the place for ages, not to mention a baby who seemed to get heavier and heavier as the day progressed! I wouldn't have it any other way though :)

So here's to the happy couple, Rachael and Tom Bradbury. May they live a long and happy life together. And if you're reading this, thank you for inviting us to be a part of your special day. It was magical :)

The happy couple


Until next time,
Much love, Laura Xxx

Guess who's back?!?

Helloooo! It's been so long! I'm so sorry i haven't written a post in absolutely ages. I have no excuse, just the fact that i really lost my head when it came to fitting my blog into everyday life. I am definitely going to try and assign at least 15 minutes a day to writing a post, even if it's just part of a post, so that i can keep you all up to date and keep my blog nice and fresh!
So, how have you been? I have written a few posts that i haven't posted yet, all about what i have been up to during the blogging hiatus (that's a posh word for 'took a break and completely lost the plot!)
I am so excited about starting afresh with my blog and staying dedicated to writing. It's something i've always loved doing and the reason i started my blog in the first place!
Keep your eyes peeled for more posts very very soon!
until next time,
Laura xxx



Picture credit to Facebook.com/shoeboxblog
and shoeboxblog.com

Dexters ootd 9/5/15

Happy Saturday! So today is one of our favourite days of the week, because it's Lee's final day at work until Wednesday! I absolutely love our lovely little family days and snuggling up in bed with my two very favourite people in the whole world. Dexter is still doing amazingly well with his food and managed porridge for breakfast, puréed strawberries and apples for lunch and cauliflower cheese for dinner yesterday! He has started the day again with porridge and a nice strawberry flavour petit filous yogurt. Lee and I are absolutely brimming with pride at how well he has taken to food and we can't wait to give him his very first taste of ice cream this summer! 

Today, however, it's definitely not ice cream weather. Which is why I've picked Dexter a nice long sleeve top, jeans and socks today! 

First is Dexters vest for today, which is a Led Zeppelin one by rock a bye baby. Sorry the picture isn't all that clear! The white writing on the black vest looks so clear in person, but somehow doesn't translate very well to photo! I love Dexters chunky little baby thighs in this picture! It's the only age he'll ever be when it's perfectly healthy and acceptable to have little rolls at the top of his legs! 

Next up are his top and jeans! Dexters jeans today (as always) are from Next and are in size 9-12 months, so I think you get an idea how tall Dexter is getting! His top is a lovely striped Zara baby number! I love how it has a worn, distressed effect to it and is just thin enough to be an everyday top, rather than a thick jumper. It also has buttons at both sides of the neck, just incase you have an exceptionally big head to deal with or even a little one who hates things being pulled over their face. 

Dexters socks today were yet another sock gift from my parents. They remind me of the pacman ghosts and they've got little grips on the bottom to stop him slipping over when he walks...although he's not quite at that stage yet! 

Hope you're all having great days! 

Until next time, 

Laura XxX 

Dexters ootd 8/5/15

Morning! So yesterday was a pretty big day for Dexter. Daddy fed him his very first petit filous and he had cottage pie for tea! Weaning is going amazingly well and Dexter is taking to it like a duck to water. It makes me so proud of him, but I also can't believe where the time's gone! Before we had him, I honestly thought he would stay a little baby, all wrapped up in a blanket for ages! But here we are 6 months on, and he's eating 3 meals a day plus bits of baby milk here and there! Today we are feeling nice and bright after a good nights sleep! Dexter only woke up once, which I suspect could be because his tummy is nice and full and he doesn't feel the need to wake up for bottles much anymore! This morning he had organix banana and strawberry baby porridge mixed with whole milk for the first time...and he loved it! It's so nice to see him trying new flavours and enjoying them! 

After a nice long nap, it was time to get Dexter out of his babygrow and into his outfit for today! 

As you can see, Dexter is desperate to become a footballer when he's bigger! This vest was bought on eBay, but it was originally from tesco. I just loved the little slogan on the front and couldn't resist! Dexter genuinely loves to watch football with his Daddy, and his eyes light up when Lee has sky sports on! Pretty sure he's going to take after Daddy and be really sporty.

Here's a nice shot of Dexter nonchalantly watching Cbeebies when I'm trying to get him to smile. Never work with children or animals! 

As you can see, Dexter is wearing his 'Daddy is my Superman' t-shirt,which is very fitting as he absolutely adores Lee! His jeans are from Next, and are the only pair he has which still fit him in size 3-6 months. I doubt they'll fit him for too much longer, I'm pretty sure he'll be taller than me next week at the rate he's growing! 

His little socks are part of a set my parents bought Dexter for Xmas and, as you can see, have cute little dumper trucks and stripes on them. 

I hope you all have a lovely day! I'm off to try and tidy up a bit while Dexter has his second nap of the day! 

Until next time,

Laura XxX